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Monday, November 30, 2009
yeashhhh! me ish gotten mie H3 Physics! LOL, imma twit-tard.
okayyy, lame aside. i've gotten my H3 physics! woooohooo! NTU contemporary physics at VJC! sighhs. i've got to miss class on some days to go for lessons at VJ. my school doesn't offer it, so i have to go to other jc's to take. but its a privillage to be taking it and i'll fucking do my best and fucking bring SR to greater heights. - hopefully. LOL
anyways, i've been thinking. (yes, when i think it results in blogging) what should i do when i grow up? should i become a scientist, since i have a great interest in science and how stuff works. or should i take finance and earn loads loads loads of money!
what ya all reckon? should i try to help the world by becoming a scientist and earn a pathetic wager? i mean, its really honourable to be helping the world. but then, WHY ME? why should i put myself on the line and help the world and not be materalistic and spendspendspend and become happyhappyhappy. after all, most scientists aren't that rich and have a hard time trying to push their way to get funds for their research... the world isn't doing much to help itself. come on, think about it. how many people out of the trillons of people on earth are helping the earth? people set up businesses, selling clothes, games, food and many many many more. but for what? to satisfy the current needs of human. yes true. but don't you all feel that Man is being spoilt with choices. and yes, i know choices allows us to have a variety and stuff. but apart from just selling goods, shouldn't we try to help Mankind? improving lives, improving the way we live, improving health, improving the earth...
when you live, what's the purpose of your existence on earth? why were you even put on earth in the first place?
to sell food? to sell clothes? to sell games? and just earn money and live your life day by day? or should we live and help the world, afterall whats the point of living if we don't make anything out of it. i'm sure most of us haven't thought about this. its like, you wanna live your life just providing demand for goods and thats all? you're not gonna give back to the world?
sighss. i dont know. i wanna live a happy and easy life with money. i wanna drive a ferrari and be a materalistic asshole. yes i'm sorry. but i'm being honest... how many of you would rather live in a smaller house so you can donate more money to help the less fortuante? - i'm sure most you wont... so should i try to be rich and lead a happy life with my wife, cheryl? (lol. she's gonna be my wife at 24!) afterall i wanna make her happy and we'll be able to lead a happy life and grow old together.
but then i dont wanna look back and go, "wow, i've been working, earning, living and taking care of my family... but what about the rest?" its uberrrr selfish. but then, why should i when people aren't doing much about it either. people just take comfort in the fact that there are other people doing it already. why should we do it since there's other people. i can just do other stuff and lead a easier life. but then, won't that make our life fuckedup. just living for ourselves and not doing a shit for Mankind and the earth...
fuckkkkkkkk. i don't know, why should i sacifice my happiness for the world when there are people who don't even give a damn about stuff like that. sighsss, wo bu zhi dao worzxzxzxzxz.
1:31 AM
Sunday, November 15, 2009
HELLO WORLD! i'm back after duperrrrrrrr long, as usual. well, not very much has happened thus far.
firstly, CHERYL'S BACK! MY DARLING'S BACK. I'M GOING ECSTATIC! the wait has been long, but its gonna be sweeettt times together. wooohoo! its been way too long since i last met her lah. :( its fucked up waiting for so long. i miss her shit loads man... and she totally dao-ed me at the airport, apparently cos her parents and some of my friends were there. so she's shy and decided to ignore me. i know! - magnificent! -.- weeellll, i forgive her anyways. what to do, love her too much already.
andddd, P-R-O-M-O-S are over!!! actually i don't even know whats there to be happy about. after all i look forward to the promos and aimed to do well. and now my next target: A level. well its good that i'm aiming for A's now, but it sucks that its so far and thus it becomes sort of a deluded aim. sighsss, life feels meaningless these past few days... after results till cheryl came back! and to those people wondering how i did. i did relatively well in my school. yesssssss i know, i know. i know i have the oh-so-awesome ahbeng face and everyone just has to think i'm some dumbshit. "so syl, did you get retained?" - errr. wtf man, don't just assume i'll retain. why can't they ask if i promoted. do i look that dumb? there's others... "hey! so how's your results? 50 what" - lol. this is better than the one above, but its just. errrr. well i've been putting in shit loads of effort. actually, come to think of it again. thinking that i got 50above in my school, SRCJ (sorry, i'm not proud of this school), should be quite a privillege considering that i think at least 40% had below 35 rank points. that would mean failure to promote. thus they can either sit for a repaper, if they get 18-34rank points. if they pass, it renders an advancement for J2... those below 18 are retainined. so... i guess its a sorta privillege?
and to those who's wondering what is the rank point system, i'll gladly lend you a hand.
for H2 subjects - which are a must! in JC you need at least 3 H2, 1 H1, PW, GP and ML. and of all one has to be a contrasting subject. soooo, if one scores(for H2 subjects): 0-39 - U grade - 0 points 40-44 - S grade - 5 points 45-50 - E grade - 10 points 51-55 - D grade - 12.5 points 56-60 - C grade - 15 points 61-69 - B grade - 17.5 points 70 - 100 - A grade - 20 points
and for H1 is just half of everything. so for promo's we have 3 H2, 1 H1 and GP which are counted into our results. chinese can be added and then rebased so see which gives a higher, but lets not go into that. oh yeah, GP is considered a H1 subject as well. so half of the points you see above. and if you think about it, seriously, its actually quite hard to retain... i mean if you just do your work and listen in class. it not that hard to be promoted. if you got E for every paper, you've got 40points (10 + 10 + 10 + 5 + 5). sighs and i think 40% retained or had a repaper? thats SRJC for you, nahhh 40% retain/repaper is unheard of in RJC.
i should stop rambling about studies. i sound like a nerdddddd. lawlllll! cheryl's back! i am like gonna spend 90% of my time with her. why only 90%. i can't spend the other 10% cos she has a friendsssssssss. which apparently only ONE, turned up at the airport to pick her up. apart from her oh-so-awesome/loving/greatttt boyfriend sylvester who always turns up to pick her. be it from australia or work, i'm there! i know i rock! =D
1:12 AM
Sunday, September 27, 2009
i'm now a Kings of Leon fan. WOOOO
6:46 AM
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
i'mmm baccckkk! yuppity-yup. i'm back with my cheryl. LOVESSS! i would draw a biggggg red heart if i could, but i can't. god has forbidden me to draw, its just too hideous.
soooo, yup. while i was away, i've gained perspective in my life again. APART from just frigging studies. i have my cheryl as well and thats what keeps me happy. you know there just times where you happen to take things for granted. well, i have my reasons for breaking up. but now, i have even more reasons to get back and love her for as long as she lets me.
i'm those type of people whom likes to plan ahead. but my mistake was that i didn't take into accout cheryl's feelings. i knew i had to breakup(i frigging hate this word) with her in order for me to realize how important she was to me again. its really difficult okay! you have no idea how distance is fucking my ass inside out and upside down. its really screwing things up, and i needed to reconcile this shitty fact. you know the saying where one never realize the importance of something till he loses it? thus i decided to breakup and lose her. you know whats ironic? i'm the one who wanna breakup cos i realized i was being a bitch and a fucking lousy boyfriend.
its like this, if you dont do your work. normally your parents will tell you "you better fucking buckup or i'll take ur phone away for the rest of your life and banish you into the closet!" for me, i realized i was doing bad and i voluntarily decided to breakup. hahaha. i kinda expected cheryl to tell me she wanted a breakup cos i was a dick. but nahh, i knew how much she loved me and she couldn't bare to tell me that. EVEN though i wasn't giving her what she deserved. i know its hard for most to comprehand what i did. but its just as simple as that, seriously. yeah, you can say its cos i was interested in another girl. well, honestly flings come and go everyday. but i realized that, i could never like another girl when i have such a beauty. hahaha. i sound fucking corny. hmmmm, cup corn? but yeahhhh, i realized that and knew after the breakup i would love her even more than i did before.
you know what. life is life and they don't go way things are planned out to be. i forgot to take into account cheryl's feelings. well i mean i knew she would get hurt and all, but to me. its for the greater good for her. well after all i do love her and i want the best for her, even if that means i gotta stab myself in the leg first. but now i've realized, i've accidentally stab both legs. ): i never expected her to actually have her feelings change for me to this extent. of course i knew there would be some stuff to get over, but not till this extent ya know. it makes me feel that i'm in a failing relationship and anyday she might just go. well- thats how i'm feeling. truthfully. its like now things have changed on her side, and its taking a serious toll on me. i never expected her love for me to fade this much. -okay i know fade isnt the right word, but i'm getting S for my GP for a reason kay. lol maybe cos she's broken about that true love doesn't last anymore or what. but the fact is that i'm here and i still love her and will always do. sighs, its just fucking pain.
i feel as if i'm going through a breakup right now. my heart aches every now and then, and i keep thinking of her. maybe its god punishing me back. well, both legs have been stabbed. its either gonna recover or i'm just gonna die. who knows? -god knows.
and i KNOW. i sound damn corny and cheesy at times with all my lovelovelovelovelove-loving. but its just the way i am. if i love means i love, i'm not gonna stop loving cos i sound cheesy or what. sorrrweeee. noOOoOoo way! love is love and i love my cheryl darling. WOOOOOO! cupcorn is niceeee!
i do hope things go back to the way they were, soon. i'm dying here.
8:21 PM
Tuesday, September 08, 2009
don't ask me why cos i'm a jerk/asshole/whatever. i KNOW.
get off my back guys... i'm single
4:56 AM
Thursday, August 13, 2009
one, two buckle your shoe three, four shut the door...
well, i don't blog much cos my life's been rather repetitive. its goes as follows: school, eat, work, sleep, computer, school, eat, work, sleep, computer, school eat, cca, work, sleep, computer... yeah, you get the drift... its pointless to blog about my life, hence the low post count.
hmmmm. i don't know about you guys. but i hate to go to sleep with a quarrel at hand, by this i mean the quarrel hasn't been resolved. but for me, i prefer to resolve all my quarrels before going to bed. yes i like to go to bed without a heavy heart. and i'm not a believer in "it'll be better in the morning..." , actually i find it kinda dumb to think that way. its like why on earth would it make any difference other than the fact that sides might have cooled down or whatever. problems are problems unless you do something about it.
in my relationship with my girlfriend, i do not go to bed with quarrels at hand. i'll make an effort to resolve em before i go to bed and i'll enjoy my sleep. i'm a pig who needs like 12+ hours of sleep. so i like my sleep well done. :D but jokes aside, i usually do make an effort to resolve em. but as of late things have changed... but what can i expect? i should have been smart enough to know that this was coming, if my girl goes overseas and studies there. its only natural that she becomes more independent and thus less dependent on me, something i'm not in favour of. but its inevitable that this would happen, and when we quarrel its different. i noticed it the time when we quarreled at the Esplanade. yeah i know! its like who would quarrel at such a nice place right?!?! -well, beats me. =x
what am i supposed to feel? mr/mrs experience come and give me some enlightnment. its like i don't know what to feel or what should i be feeling. am what i'm feeling right? ohhhhh mr/mrs experience, come and let me attain enlightnmentttt. :( its different to be living off on nothing but just pure communication, no dates, no movies, no holding hands, no nothing. -just communicating. yeah, i won't deny this sucks. but its the path i chose cos i love her and don't wanna part just yet. lol, maybe never. hahahahaha.
but its like really darn fcuked up. i don't know how to explain this, i can't put a word on this. well, i believe its cos of how i feel(which i'm sure everyone feels) that people can't define emotions properly. dictionary provides the scientific aspect of emotions which makes no bloody sense, emotions are emotions which normally go against scientific analysis... just my 2cents
i'm just blogging to let myself remember things when i look back at life, be it good or bad who knows. after all, a blog is kinda like a diary without a pen. lawl. i don't know. who gives a damn?
big no. 2
12:33 AM
Friday, July 03, 2009
The drops of rain they fall all over. Down down downnnnn. I feel like uberish down right now. it hurts really bad, but you just don't know cos you can't see it. being alone for 5months and having to tide through problems alone have allowed me to mask my problems. but problems are just problems, you on the other hand are the world to me. when problems arise, i either solve em, work my way round em or just don't give a damn. but when it comes to you, i can't do neither.
I cant work my way round you, love doesn't work that way. i know its corny and cheesy but its a fact, well at least to me it is. and i cant ignore a problem when it concerns you... it takes a toll on me and i doubt you know it does. i try solving problems with you but you always ain't have anything to say to me other than 'sorry' which is kinda meaningless. i don't want a 'sorry' cos anyone can say that. i wanna know whats from you, and thats what makes you, you! no other can replace you and i wanna hear whats from the inside. whats going on within, i wanna help you or at least understand why you're behaving in such a manner.
Its fucked up when i try my best to explain my point of view to you and you just seem oblivious to you. and i usually give it my all when i'm explaining to you cos i know sometimes you just cant see it, and you throw tantrums at me. you know... it hurts. i have feelings like you do. i'm not a robot, but a man. a man created by god similar to you. so try to be more understanding as i am to you when i explain to you certain things cos it aint easy for me to say it neither it is for you to hear it. but it has to be done, i dont want to move on with a big blank in our relationship.
when you neglect me, what can you expect from me? c'mmon, i'm sacrificing alot for you right now kay. i only have 1month with you and i'll spend as much time as i can with you. and when you neglect me its kinda saddening. actually its realllly really saddening and i start to think. why? -why are you neglecting me now? -why not previously? -why why why you have to understand that i do love you and even the littlest action matters to me cos you're my girlfriend whom i love with all my heart and every beat there is, is for you.
You used to fight for me with all you've got an you're usually the first one to say sorry even if you're not always wrong. I know its cos you love me. I fight hard for you too, i will never let you slip past me and no one shall beat me to you unless you've told me to stop. i'll never stop unless you tell me to. why? Cos i love you. its just that fighting for someone i love is whats right to me and is what makes me, me. But what happens when you don't fight as hard as you usually would? i'll leave you to figure on your own, cos i dont know the answer to that question either.
i know it seems stupid whinning over some small neglection, but the fact is that you've been gone for 5months. i've been waiting 5months and when i get this ONE month, you're gonna neglect me? of course i dont expect 100% attention non-stop, but not totally neglect me as if i was invisible. it's saddening to see this happening in the only month we get to be together after 5months. i know i'm not the best boyfriend in the world but i can assure you that i love you with all my heart. you're always on my mind no matter when kay. loving comes with hurt, and thats something i've cast upon myself by loving you. when you hurt me, its a million times worser than you think. if i didnt love you as much as i did, i wouldnt give 2cents bout it. but the frigging fact is i love you and its with all i've got.
i feel my english is fucked up when i'm feeling down... -.- maybe its just that i got a damned 40% for GP? doubleyou-tee-eff man. fourt percent is pathetic!
