My life thus far

2011-10-22T15:20:00.000+08:00

i have moved to

http://www.vicissitudesofchange.blogspot.com/

2011-07-04T00:07:00.003+08:00

It's finally 3rd of July!

This marks the official graduation from Basic Military Training! i've learnt much about NS and more importantly more about myself.

I've changed physically and to some small extent mentally. I've become more extroverted i guess, after the much bonding i've had with friends in bunk and through training. Some have been kind to me while some haven't be so tolerant. Well, to each his own i guess... =x
There are kind friends who've managed to put up with my whining/ranting/complaining when the training is too tough for me at times or when i start ranting when i feel something is just unjust or a pure waste of time. There were those who rant with me, those who ignored me, those who barked at me for complaining. Well, i guess there are different cultures and to some ranting together is enjoyable and helps to get the day by. There are those who prefer to suffer in silence and just get through with it alone.
Well, i've been thinking, sometimes its better to just shut the fuck up in my bunk since most of the people think i complain too much. It's been rather hurtful at times since i didn't expect them to feel that way and be there to help me through at times.

There was this one incident that left an impression on me. Since my bunk mates barked at me for complaining too much, i decided to ask one guy if he felt that way. Well, he said personally he felt i did complain a lot and when i probed to ask for instances he gave this : 'when doing IOC, i keep pushing you and then you keep saying i cannot already...'
I was rather taken aback... I mean if you push me to run faster and when i say i can't run any faster but i'm still running. How is that complaining? Aren't i just letting you know that i can't go any faster already?

Another incident, when waking up the following day and then asking my buddy if his legs/body was aching from the previous day's activities and then saying mine ached. After talking to him, to him, that was perceived as complaining. Well, i understand that complaining is a perception. If you feel i'm complaining then i'm complaining though it may not seem so.
As such i got quite irritated with the people there and decided to just shut the fuck up. i mean if communication to you seems like complaining then i'm really astounded...

Again, there was this other incident. At the toilet i told my 2 bunkmates that after this, it's going to be lunch already since it's 11.30am already. His comment was 'sylvester why you sound like you complaining sia...' I mean come on~~~~ Am i really so fucking retarded that i don't know what's complaining?
Is it the culture differences or is it my mind rotting away till i've become desensitized to complaining such that i don't even realize a complaint when i hear one?

Regardless, I've passed out from BMT and won't be interacting with them as much. However this has left a lasting impression on me, i guess i need to re-evaluate how i perceive people to be. Some friends you can talk cock to, some friends you can talk politics to, some friends you can study with, some friends you can live with, some friends you can march with. Probably it's a little fucked up to categorize people that way, but honestly i think everyone does that in their head.

Besides the problem faced from the complaining crap, BMT has been manageable. I wouldn't go so far to say it's fun. I understand the need for it, but i doubt it is of the most importance. I hope i've manged to be true to myself and shown that i have certain leadership capabilities if any. If my prediction is right, i'll make it to SCS (Specialist Cadet School).

During my free time what do i do? Besides messaging my loveable girlfriend who is currently in New Zealand enjoying herself in the cool breeze of winter, i read! I guess being in army my mind has somewhat deteriorated and as such i've decided to read!
I guess that was some inertia to reading and i only stared during the second month of BMT. Within 3weeks+ I've managed to read 2 books.

The solitude of prime numbers - Paolo Giordano
Animal Farm - George Owell

As of now, i'm reading 1984 by George Owell. Next on my list is Pride and Prejudice by Jane Austen. How far does my list go? I intend to read 100 books by end of NS which means about 4-5 books a month. However given that i don't read previously, i read rather slow... Hitting 80books would be a feat for me!

Time to enjoy my block leave and make the best out of it. To those who enlisted as the 02/11 batch, POP LO~~~

2011-05-04T05:10:00.004+08:00

Let my ask how much and what can you say about hugs? How difficult it is to describe something so primal and necessary. - the physical intimacy that it provides is unrivaled.

I recall reading somewhere that the Japanese were producing a inflatable pillow, similar to those you use when on long flights to help you sleep, to simulate the human hug. This goes to show the value and importance of hugs.
The sheer comfort and warm a hug from someone dear invokes or when you're so low in life that even a stranger's hug reminds you of the relevance to society and there are people out there for you.

In an increasingly isolated world, the opportunity for human contact seems hardly existent. How long has it been since you had a hug? True, hugging is still out there. But given the nature of today's world, ranting problems online, sending a sms or even giving a call seems to solve the problem, hugging seems to be something of the past. Regardless, having someone there to talk your problems with and having a hug at the end of the day goes a long way.
One the other hand, i feel there's some stigma to hugging. How often do you see males hugging one another? - unless its in a joyous occasion where one strikes lottery. Well, i guess the stigma arises from either the social intolerance of homosexuals and how people are afraid of being labeled one or the chauvinistic nature of males. I guess we've been groomed in a way such that we believe its 'unmanly' to show that we need comfort or condolence...

"It’s not just happening at schools; many corporations and business now forbid physical contact.
It cuts down on sexual harassment lawsuits. Perhaps with the continued evolution of Smartphones and emails and video conferencing, we’ll find a way to keep people from ever being in the same room together… won’t that be wonderful?

Years ago, they did an experiment with an orphaned baby monkey. They gave it two choices for a surrogate… one which could provide milk, the other a hug. The monkey chose the hug.

I grew up with various social disabilities. I had no friends. I got a job that only required I write memorandums. I lived a life, basically, with no real human contact. My client is an objectiphile. Both of us improved through the kindness, compassion, and yes, physical affection of others.

The human touch cannot be quantified. It cannot be analyzed with statistics. We can’t place a number on it, but it is much, much more than a doorway to sexual molestation.
It’s the best, the most direct, the most lasting way of affirming another person’s humanity. Leigh Swift was trying to comfort a student who was suffering. What policy can possibly justify firing her for that?

Six years ago, isolation had brought me to the point… I considered taking my life. I picked up
the phone and punched out 4-1-1, so desperate was I to hear just the sound of another person’s voice. I got some automated recording that said ‘what city and state please’… and I wept. We are living in such an increasingly isolated world, your Honor. We IM and text message and have virtual relationships online – it gets lonelier and lonelier while teenage and adult depression continues to rise. There are, perhaps, many things we can do about it… banning the hug can’t be one of them." - excerpt from Boston Legal: Roe vs Wade

Anyways on the hot topic of election coming so soon, i haven't been well informed after being overseas for quite some time. Well, as little as i know, i do know that the contesting between the People's Action Party(PAP) and Worker's Party(WP) in Aljunid seems to be pretty hot. From what I've gathered, WP Secretary-General Low Thia Khiang has moved to Aljunid to contest PAP for the Aljunid GRC.
I know that Minister George Yeo resides in the Aljunid GRC and this contest is going to be a rather impactful one should PAP lose. Having been to the opening ceremony for the BETA competition where Minister George Yeo gave a speech, it has left an impression that he is one worthy of his seat and to relinquish him of his post would be unfavourable for Singapore.

Being in the constituency for so long, having such knowledge of the governmental system and his wisdom, losing him or rather relinquishing him from his post would be detrimental for Singapore imo. I understand the need for WP to achieve greater standing in the cabinet, but i don't understand why Aljunid, especially with Mr. Yeo there.
It is in my opinion that the decision lies with the voters and to burden them with such a choice imo is unwarranted. Is there really a need to leave the decision of losing the current Minister Of Foreign Affairs. Yes, it is necessary to prove how worthy you are to contest for a seat. Yes, the choice should ultimately lie with voters and they should have a say in what type of Singapore they want. However, it is also to do what is best for Singapore and feel that you can bring something more than the current party. Personally, i feel this is a real tough decision. Imagine being able to choose between a Ferrari and Lamborghini. Why not have both cars? Similar to the government, why not put both senior and important members into parliament. Wouldn't this be best for Singapore?

I understand that WP has maintained a strong footing of the Aljunid GRC and losing to PAP by a mere 12%. However the burden to me seems unnecessary... Why not move your chess piece to another GRC where you could try and triumph the current party who doesn't have such an important standing in the governmental system (which would also seem to be easier to win since the party there isn't as strong). I see the need for a change in the political atmosphere, but something this sensitive i feel needs to be taken one step at a time...

However, if Mr. Yeo still maintains his seat as the Minister of Foreign Affairs should PAP lose the Aljunid GRC, i doubt it would really be a problem. I'm not too sure on how the whole system works as not much has been taught during my schooling days. These are just my thoughts and opinions on issues.

2011-03-16T01:40:00.007+08:00

i must say i am astounded and jealous of the adventurous lives some people live.

i'm sure most people know of the visa advertisement where there's this cute plump guy dancing (imo horribly) in every country.
anyways, here it is:

besides that, did you know that the guy, Matt Harding came from humble beginnings. hahahaha. i'm amazed that i only realized about him now. yes i probably know about the advertisement long time ago, but didn't make a connection that he was endorsed by Visa to make the advertisement. i thought it was some advertising campaign and he was a hired actor. ohhhh, the sheer ignorance i have sometimes.
anyways, come to think of it, how would one even know about it unless someone passes it on or by some sheer coincidence.

and by some sheer coincidence, i've stumbled upon his humble beginnings. i never knew that Matt was just a guy who quit his job in February 2003 and used his savings to travel around Asia till it all ran out. i mean cmonnn, who in this day and age would do that?! its something remarkable i must say! if only i had the luxury of doing so. i guess its all in the mindset and coming from Singapore, i guess i've been hardwired that such a lifestyle is meant for the rich and famous...

here's his humble beginnings

to think that someone featured on a Visa advertisement only has 35,000,000 views. Singapore only has 6,000,000 people so that's a mighty awesome outreach. thought peanuts compared to Bieber's 500,000,000 which is half a billion. i must say, to think that something as innocent as random dancing perked the interest of companies, especially MNCs.
reading about Matt has touched me, it has enlightened mean that success isn't always defined by the amount of money you have nor the cars you have nor the position you hold at your office. its more of a mindset and lifestyle. being a Singaporean, im quite certain that most Singaporeans will shudder at the thought of using all their savings to travel around to world. to immerse themselves in culture, tradition, language or even different socioeconomic background.

you might say i'm naive to even feel touched by this. but understand this, coming from a country who's whole history has been circling pragmatism and eclecticism, the luxury of such a lifestyle and the unlikely outcome of it - success, isn't something that i believe in. this has shown me an alternative to success.

oh by the way, his website is here

2011-03-08T05:29:00.003+08:00

finally, the time has come.

i've collected my results after going through hell. the uncertainty of your results is really unbearable and i'm glad i came out strong and alive. before the release of the results on 4th March, Friday, 2.30pm the school usually calls top scorers for photo taking.
unfortunately i wasn't one of the lucky few and let not forget i was from one of the top classes, hence my group of friends were calling me and telling me they received the call from school.
the stress and anxiety i was feeling was crazy...

anyways, glad that my friends achieved great results. they usually scored better than me, so its no wonder they did better. otherwise it would be a little screwed up. their results are a testament of how hard work pays off. actually, any top scorers in my school (SRJC) is actually a result of sheer hardwork.

anyways, for those who really want to know how i fared. my results are as follows:

H1 GP - C
H1 PW - A
H1 ECONS - A
H2 MATHS - A
H2 CHEM - A
H2 PHY - B
H3 PHY - DIST
CLB - PASS

i know it kinda sucks. i mean how can my GP get a C? i honestly expected a B. a C was on my mind since i kinda screwed up my essay. i took too long choosing a question, couldn't really decide on which one to do at first. as such, i didn't have time to finish. i had to either write my rebuttal or conclude. obviously i decided to conclude, hence affecting my grades.

my H2 physics is a real let down, i never expected a B for my physics at all. i mean seriously, physics was my best subject for Prelims and i was expecting an A. arghhh.

well, to my huge huge huge surprise, i managed to obtain a distinction for my H3 physics. i recall, before collecting the results, i met with my group of friends and 2 teachers for lunch. being the anxious person as i am, i kept on pestering them, asking if i passed my H3. knowing teachers they both went ' i don't know' and i was expecting a pass or merit only... recalling the exam venue which had 1/3 students from Hwa Chong and many top schools. actually there are like almost no schools which are from the bottom tier like mine. as such, i was fearful of a fail and asked if they were showing the H3 results and asked if they could hide the H3 results.
imagine the sigh of " H3 physics - 0% pass" i would have been so embarrassed and ran to the toilet hiding my head there... never did i expect a Distinction and still be able to be the only one to obtain it.
the other 2 people who took H3, in my opinion, had a higher chance of getting a Distinction.

and i recall since the first day of school, when i appealed to take 4H2 which i was so blatantly rejected despite them asking me to "appeal". they didn't even want to listen to me, all the wanted was to shut me up. and i recalled telling them i wanted to take H3 and the teacher gave me a doubtful "if you do well in promos we'll see".
in physics class, i told my teacher of my H3 ambitions and he told the class, H3 isnt easy and that he only got a Merit for it and he came from VJC. and he was quite hesitant to support my H3 conquest...
my Civic Teacher highly discouraged me from taking H3 since i would be competing with top schools and it would be better if i focus on my core subjects.
despite the setbacks i face and not having much help since i didn't have seniors who took H3 nor were the teachers very familiar with the syllabus, i had to rely on Google for most of my help.

as saddening as it is that i got a C for my GP, my H3 phy has alleviated the sadness. i've not let myself down that much. still in shock from my Distinction...

to those who did well. Congratulations on your results, im sure your hard work has paid off!
to those who didn't achieve their desired results, i'm sure you'll find other opportunities to shine. A' levels isn't the end of the road, its just one of the roads. find your path and you'll be fine. my heart goes out to those who needs it. <3

2011-03-02T06:15:00.002+08:00

When you call my heart stops beating
When you're gone it won't stop bleeding
But I can wait, I can wait forever

yes, if you frequent my blog, you'll know this song comes up whenever she's left Singapore. as painful as it is, my love for you triumphs the pain and i'll wait.
i'll be sitting here in my room, waiting for you to come back during your holidays, waiting for you to graduate and waiting for you to come back to my arms. where you know you'll always be protected. its been 3 years already and i'll always be there for you my darling.

anyways, i was just reminiscing about the past by reading the archives of this blog. mind you, its been 7 years since i started this blog. as i read my early posts, i realized they were so childish with all the colours which weren't tastefully fused. well, come to think of it, my primary school life was kinda dull coupled with the fact that i was living with my parents. yup, those were dark dark times.
as much i would like to blame my parents for raising me the way they did, i don't because i understand their plight. they didn't have much experience since my grandmother was schizophrenic and my mother's side are in Malaysia. probably they didn't have much help i guess. besides, my parents were 23 then. i think that's comparatively young in Singapore. hence the were immature, less understanding and hot tempered.

besides that, i realized i was a really really angsty child. i would always remember the times that the teachers scolded me and blogged about it. i could always feel their prejudice eyes piercing through me.
on the topic of prejudice teachers scolding me at times for unjustified reasons, lets go to my Civics Education teacher whom i felt seriously had problems as he was often delusional. i recall the class having no lesson about the textbook. it was often scolding and more scolding, again at times irrelevant. being the rebellious teen i was back then, i obviously rebelled, feeling that it wasn't right to demoralize in class for no good apparent reason. as such, i painted a bulls eye on my head and would always get picked on in class. by always i mean ALWAYS. if i recall correctly, immediately after the class greeted, my name would be called out for nothing to find something.

well, that's the past. i heard he recently had a stroke and is now back teaching. honestly there's mixed feelings, i don't know if i should feel belated or despondent. i mean he was really a jerk to me. but that aside, i know he has a family to take care of, he has kids whom he needs to feed, he has bills to pay. and to think of it, a stroke isn't a trivial matter. it can be life changing, since i don't know details first hand, i shall assume its not too serious since he's back teaching. i guess he's going to have to learn to cope with it. god bless him and hope he's since changed to become much more reasonable.

i realized that i always call teachers bitchy then. fast forward 3 years later, i now know the word to be condescending. hahahaha. what a lack of vocabulary then...
looking back, there were times where i even laugh at myself. how straightforward i was, i recalled during class test i wanted to change seat and when the teacher didn't allow it, i said "asshole". i mean come onnnnn, why would i even say that?!?! i guess it was on impulse and i really didn't mean it. actually, i liked the teacher. she was quite cheerful and nice to the class.
and that god that i was forced to write an apology letter. i really do feel guilty about it, but since i've written an apology letter. i guess the sin has been absolved? LOL. honestly, i do feel more at ease.

and i also realized, that on Saturday, June 30, 2007 @ 1:49 AM, when i was cutting my nails and it flew into my eye, i've since develop a habit of turning my head and looking away before clamping on the clipper. its left a lasting impression and its a habit. when i try to look at it my eyes will try and close and i'll give that ">.<" face...

i'm definitely sure that my blog has kept memories alive. helping me remember times i shared with friends, problems i had and of course how i've since become more mature, both cognitively and emotionally.

2011-02-12T04:05:00.002+08:00

are we really that helpless? pffffffttt

sometimes i wonder, are we really that helpless? individually are we really that useless?
no i'm not talking about how we can achieve more as a collective, i mean are we really worth that little as an individual?
should we live our lives individually and at the end of day, do nothing for society and for others?
why should we always leave problems to the government or to more knowledgeable people? can't we seek knowledge given the vast world wide web. Do we live this life of ours and do nothing more than benefit ourselves only?

why when i try to seek advice on solutions for the current problems of today's world from friends, all i get is dejection and in turn feel helpless. are there so many carefree people in Singapore that we leave all problems to the government? has Singapore bred a culture where we believe the government will always solve all our problems and we're not a part of this country?
this is our country and we have a part to play in ensuring the best for future generations and ensure they get to live a life as good as ours at the very least.
undoubtedly the government has most funds and probably the most power in the country, but they're often bounded by red tape and bureaucracy. does the government have every single aspect covered?
i honestly doubt that current science in Singapore is going to solve all our problems, most of the time, knowledge or technology is shared amongst nations. - by share i mean they're willing to sell the technology to you.
a lot of the solutions that we have today, are often a result of careful selection and outsourcing.

though i doubt i have the capability to solve every single problem, i feel i have the ability and capability to at least contribute to this society meaningfully and solve some problems.
i agree its pointless to think of all the problems and then think of solutions. at the end of the day, all im going to feel is helplessness since the problems are to monumental for me.
certain problems, i feel im able to contribute.

nope, im not saying im going to contribute alone. but with the collective - my friends and people around me.
honestly, it seriously is saddening to have friends who tell you to not bother with such problems since we have such a competent government who solves most of our problems.
but i don't blame them, i probably attribute this carefree attitude as a result of our nanny state where we have a lot of choices chosen for us.
it would feel better if more people were engage in finding solutions for the greater good. i'm not saying there are no people doing that. i mean i don't know enough people doing that personally...

i guess most people wonder "so what if i find a solution for the problem of todays world. what can my solution do? "
i guess there aren't many avenues provided for us to contribute to and as a result we just leave it to the government.

thankfully for me, right now, i probably have a chance at contributing because of the competition im taking part in. probably without this competition most would wonder what to do with their solutions.
i guess, there's always the private sector in the economy. if you believe you idea works and with a group of resourceful and knowledgeable people, your solution will becomes the world's solution.
probably, we'd all be innovators by then...
wouldn't that be great? :)

2011-01-11T04:58:00.002+08:00

recently talked to a dear friend of mine and hence i've been reflecting and thus unable to fall asleep.

i mean after all, what are friends for if they never let you know problems that might surface. why bother keeping it all boiled up and sooner or later, end up quarreling. and as such, i treasure this dear friend to the extent i love him. (its a brotherly love)

i wonder, why do i appear so righteous to some of my peers? do i honestly think i'm that righteous.
i've really been thinking, and probably to some extent - yes i do.
yes, it must have been an oversight of mine. probably again, to some extent - it might appear arrogant.
but as i think more and more, i'm quite sure the reason is because of my Junior College education and with the insightful subject General Paper(GP). this has obviously left a lasting and strong impression on me, and probably affected my character and how i view issues.
yes, i probably used to be a carefree guy who didn't really understand things or bother to. but as i started to understand, i realized the joy of understanding. unknowingly, that such a joy is an acquired taste.

often, when i'm plagued with issues, i will voice them out to my peers and often start a dialogue or debate. this obviously happened during my junior college days. given the likes of the people in my class, this was often not a real issue as we enjoyed debating and finding a resolution to issues that we found perturbing.
and of course, i was often told by my other friends that i seem heated up or agitated while in such a debate. and to some, it seemed like i was quarreling with my friends. - which i did not.
i really enjoyed debating with my friends issues or ideologies which i found perturbing or interesting and often hoped to gain fresh insight. two minds are more powerful than one.

as i continued this, there were some who chose not to engage as they felt it was meaningless or that it would lead to a quarrel. but as time passed, they realized my intentions - which were not to quarrel or assert my stand on issues.
rather, i guess they realized the benefits that it brought to them as they understood more issues.
i'm not suggesting that i conceived the resolution, rather, it was developed together as a group.
- this was something i really enjoyed during my junior college days.
as such, this extended to other subjects besides GP. there were science, maths and humanities.
i realized the power that could be harnessed from a collective, rather than individuality.
i found it easier to discuss issues with peers, and gain other perspective on what we've learnt and it made it easier to understand what was thought.

i guess, this has to a certain extent affect my cognitive abilities and change the way i view or talk about things.
i think, with my junior college friends, this would have not been a problem since it was the premise on how they knew me.

the problem now lies in, my friends whom were not with my in my junior college.
when i'm facing an issue or dilemma i will still resume my usual routine of asking my peers.
one must understand the issue or dilemma i face when with my junior college friends or secondary school friends, haven't changed...
neither have the way i think or accept things.

i wonder about a lot of things. most which would seem pointless to many, but to me, they can keep me awake at night just to try and figure them out.
there was this incident where i was wondering how did the trolley stick to the escalator.
you know at certain supermarkets which have escalators, when you push the trolleys onto the escalator, they will stay there even when you're not holding it?
yes, i was wondering about those type of things. (i know i sound like a geek. but i have a real interest in physics.)
as such, i just asked my friends. of which some engaged in discussion. where we tried to figure out what was the reason.

the problem lies in, when one tries to assert his views on this issue to me.
see, the problem here is. i feel i understand physics and probably have a certain grasp on it. to ask me to take a view, with no convincing would be too difficult for me.
if someone told me a certain make-up brand was better, i guess i would probably believe them since i know nuts about make-up.
but i think i understand physics, and if you think about it, this is really an issue about physics.
yes you can tell me a theory, but if you assert it onto me without any convincing then i feel a little unhappy. i wouldn't accept something without convincing. otherwise wouldn't it be an insult to both parties?
if a stranger came up to me and told me, i guess i would have just said 'okay' and couldn't be bothered. but this is a friend, i feel i have to respect him/her enough to mean it when i say 'okay i understand'

as such, we argued over this. its not because the view was right/wrong. rather it was because i refused to believe a theory asserted onto me.
i mean, if you're telling someone something and they refuse to believe you because they need convincing, i understand it can sometimes be really annoying.
but sometimes, there are things which one wouldn't take so easily. there are some things in life that people value more than others. i value my knowledge and interest in physics, and as such if you try and threaten it, i'll naturally be guarded.

extrapolate this, if someone really knows about make-up and wondered about something. should i try to tell them that a certain brand is better, with no convincing, i'm sure they wouldn't believe it as well.
i'm not sure if everyone understands this, but there are certain issues where mere assertion will not do - especially in fields of interest/profession.

there is also the issue of ideologies where i sometimes discuss with my friends. which of course, might seem irritating if they have no interest. its not intentional, after all, how much can i withhold an interest or burning sensation to understand more. feeling that it wouldn't harm anyone to just share views, i asked them and naturally talked about them. probably some felt annoyed, some couldn't careless. but the intention was never to prove my intellect or anything.
it's just pure curiosity and desire to understand.

take for example, up to now i've still been wondering "is superficiality really bad?"
i mean, society frowns upon superficiality. no one would say thank you when you call them superficial. but if you really think about it, everyone is superficial and society rewards us for being superficial.

also, there are the case of words. when one uses certain words, the implication is vastly different.
i understand that sometimes there are one intends no malice. but the words appear likewise.
the word stupid is a really condescending word which i honestly refrain from using on friends. yes i know one means no malice or harm, but the words will affect someone. - well at least i feel affected.
i mean when saying things, there are nicer ways of saying them. not so assertively and insulting which i sometimes feel. i understand that no one would mean such things to friends, but it feels that way sometimes.

anyways, these are one of the few things i've been reflecting about. am i such an annoyance to my friends?
i mean i understand that sometimes it can be irritating, and after awhile i've tried withholding such queries.

but as a friend, i treasure him and obviously accept him for his flaws. no one is perfect and we can't please everybody.

2010-12-31T06:51:00.003+08:00

Rush, rush
Hurry, hurry lover
Come to me
Rush, rush
I wanna see, I wanna see ya
Get free with me

my darling is in America, enjoying herself right now! i never realized that 11days would feel this long. i'm already missing you like shit.

i'm always sleeping at like 10+ am and always suddenly waking up around 4+ am? guess i'm not sleeping too well now. sighs. come back soon my cheryl. come back soon and safe!

i've apparently turned on okto at 6.35am, and i heard a song that was so 80's.
its by an American Idol judge.
Rush Rush - Paula Abdul

2010-12-17T05:56:00.003+08:00

i sense that people are soon gonna be in an unfavorable position given the vast dilution of privacy.
not that we are losing privacy, i would seem to think more or less that most are throwing their privacy away. -well, at least their online privacy

by no means am i saying that the internet is bad, harmful or any negative connotations that you can conjure. i'm suggesting that some people, use the internet in a way that is disadvantageous to themselves.

i see people posting so much crap on facebook, yes i do frequent facebook... i do not post, nor tag nor do anything. all i do is merely observe... to be honest, i try to keep up to date with what my friends are doing. though it seems to be 'keeping people connected', i would seem to think the likewise. probably this has to do with my nature. but that later.

i see postings about how people comment about their personal lives, knowing that everyone on facebook is free and able to read whatever is posted. i see comments about
"my bf broke up with me because ..."
"he used to ..."

well, its all those rantings about their boyfriends or what. honestly i couldn't careless, but what intrigues me is what it reflects about people today. again, maybe this is my own prejudice and i do not like my personal life or problems to be glorified online.
aren't those people aware that their ex's are there to read what you are typing? aren't they aware that their friends are reading? aren't they aware that their friend's friend are reading?
aren't they aware that the world is watching? -i'm exaggerating a little.

you won't go and tell everyone you know about why you boyfriend is being a bitch or why he's not perfect. i'm sure i wouldn't tell my teachers, of which i know, about my intimate family problems. i won't tell them the problems i have with my girlfriend.
i choose to share them with my close friends or those whom i trust.
wouldn't it be weird if a teacher comes up to you and asks about your relationship with your other half? i mean to me, its really really weird.
maybe i haven't been desensitized to the whole idea of the internet. probably because i seem to understand how pervasive and open the internet really is.

why choose to shame your ex online? doesn't that reflect badly about you as well...
though i understand its not always about shame, it more or less reflects poorly on the person.
why is it so difficult to message him/her about the problem and talk it through directly instead of glorifying the strained relationship online.
why bother posting a comment on facebook and hope to get some sort of reply when you can just ask your close friends for advise or those whom are more familiar with the people involved.
when i think about it, i honestly don't see any rationale reasoning to do so.

but yeah, it seems fun to do so. posting some comment about my life, hoping that all my ___ friends comment and talk to me, and i'm suddenly in the center of attention.
but is that what i want? is that what i need. -attention
what ever you say now, will reflect more about you than what you initially would want to reveal.
i can only think and conclude that i'm not wise enough to understand why people choose to engage in facebook comments or 'what's on your mind'

there are times where i see people posting 'thank god for ...'
yes, i know you want to thank god. but why do it on the internet, are you trying to show that your god is great to everyone? to me, if you really wanted to show thanks, do it in the right place. in your heart, actions or the church.
would i go around school and say. "MY GOD IS GREAT! I LOVE MY GOD"
there are some whom you might say that to, others you won't, but not everyone.
i honestly think most wouldn't, and i think it more or less creates some sort or religious tension on whats the my god/your god thing. afterall, i think religion is a really sensitive issue and not all are capable/wise enough to handle the challenges that might surface.

probably i'm being egotistic and thinking i'm better than everyone else and choose not to post on facebook. but when i think about it, i don't see a need to post. i don't post whatever is on my mind, i don't say 'my girlfriend is ....' because there is no need. why shame her, why put her through the pressure of succumbing to peer pressure in resolving a certain issue when she's not ready.
i don't see a need to post my seemingly atheist beliefs on facebook.
besides, what's on my mind isn't always a sentence. its more of an issue. ( hence i choose to blog and let those who want to read, read and not put it every where. and in hope, i will remember how my mind matures as it ages. )
at the end of the day, i don't wanna be put in a position that i wouldn't wanna be in the first place.
i wouldn't wanna reveal myself totally to the world. that to me is like going out in public totally naked in the mental/psychological sense...

i understand the power and usefulness of facebook, but there needs to be some checks and balance in what people post in order to protect themselves from themselves.
its awesomely easy to get comments from people, easily to ask about your peers, and easy to well, connect.
but there is a fine line with connecting, and posting shit which i think is worthless.

yes i agree, its that worthless shit that at times, keep us seemingly up to date with our peers. but there are at times, too much being revealed and we are often becoming desensitized to it. we post and post and post, and we forget why we actually post and really post whatever comes to our mind at first.
in real life, no one really does that. i don't sms all my friends and tell them what's on my mind.

i think the sense of connectedness that facebook brings about is some kind of warped connectedness that people somehow enjoy.

as i'm posting this, i'm re-reading and re-reading the post over and over. it seems flawed to some extent, but i can't pin-point it exactly...
i think the problem lies in,

how

connected we want to be with our peers. and by jolly, the connectedness i'm seeing now a days could have been more than i asked for...

2010-11-28T02:18:00.002+08:00

if you understand physics, this is one hella sweet thing to do. :3

2010-11-27T01:49:00.003+08:00

i guess no one really understand how i feels.
as cliche as this sounds, its kinda true in certain aspects of life - especially this one.

i mean i honestly don't expect everyone to understand why i do what i do, but as a friend, as a lover, respect my choices.
as friends and lovers, i understand the need for everyone to assert their views onto others. but when i have so stubbornly shown i will not waver on my stand, please respect it.

i really really dislike clubbing, i would under most circumstances avoid going into a club. unless its really really i don't have a choice. but given this power of choice in today's modernized world, i'm sure i really have the luxury of morality.

clubbing to me is something i have since very very young, disliked. i've watched movies when young, and that has to some extent instill a nature in me that clubbing is by nature bad. understand the key word: nature.
its the same why people often feel the need to buy something when, if thought through hard enough, will logically and rationally see that there is actually no need. and the 'want' is somehow manifested into a 'need'. its something you can't really explain since we have been wired since young. as much as i explain to my peers on being materialistic or hedonistic, i some what understand why they do what they do, even though i don't really understand what they are doing.

its like, assuming you have a bunch of gay friends, and they are really gay. should they decided to give each other blowjobs, and you being straight, detest the idea of putting another male's dick into your mouth will reject at all cost. well, if you really really think about it, whats so wrong about that? - we only feel that it is wrong because of societal prejudice. ( i know i'm going into a slippery slop of 'then there would be nothing wrong')
but the point here being, i can't really think why going to a club is so wrong. but i somehow, and i really don't understand why i feel this way, i feel as if i just lost a part of me. what i actually believe and value, what i actually am.

i value, the human dignity, the human sanctity. when i see people getting really drunk and high, it seems that we've lost all form of law and order. human by nature aren't supposed to go high and drunk, that's not us by nature. we only invented this 'alcohol' as a form of entertainment? - god knows why...
past that, i really detest the whole notion of a club. its sleazy, its cheap, its filled with gangsters, its filled with uncouth people, its filled with uncivilized people, its filled with those people i wouldn't wanna associate myself with.
im not saying ALL are like that, but from what i see, its seems so. yes you can say i'm superficial in this aspect, but what i see will manifest into emotions. - which will hurt me a lot.
if my friends go, sure by all means.
but if my loved one goes, its a whole different story.

its really really difficult to explain why i feel this way.
its like, would a girl let her boyfriend/husband go into a brothel? i mean if he says he just wanna check it out and isn't gonna do anything with the girls there, and he has his friends to take care of him.
i mean, as much as you trust him, there's always the human instinct of seduction. in the same aspect, there's always the aspect of peer pressure into doing something stupid.

sometimes, i wonder why i put myself through so much pain watching you step through those doors.
wouldn't i be better off single? i keep asking myself that, why can't you just respect this one single thing i request. no clubs please.
i knew you in secondary school, and you seemed like one who wouldn't enter a club. that's the premise of how i viewed your character. i don't see why its so hard to RESTRAIN yourself from entering.
i'm sure if there are no friends asking you to go, you would never initiate a clubbing session with them. hence, why you value your friends more than me?
i'm not asking you to worship me, but respect me if you really do love me.

i've told you time and time again how i feel about clubbing. it seems you hear me, but you aren't listening. if you listen hard enough, you'll hear all the pain and anguish i've had trying to convince you not to go.
why must you so desperately go? after all, didn't curiosity kill the cat?
would it be so hard to not venture into the aspect of clubbing? i do not ask much of you, just this single request.

ask me why i still stay on? - its a simple reason, i still love you and will always do.

2010-11-11T05:00:00.002+08:00

this is it guys.
after studying since my mind started remembering, recalling the times i was mocked by my dad for having an iq of 90. mind you, that's almost as good as retarded.
well, im not too proud of it. i think i took it at p3 or what, but i had no idea it was a test. all i remembered was that i wanted to go home and hence i didn't really care.

fast-forward to p6, where i decided i had enough of the mockery from my dad who constantly boasted he had an iq of 160.
if you do a search, that's really really smart. hahaha. i'm serious, i think i can give testament of his intellect, but sadly, i honestly believe that his higher iq resulted in some compensation from his eq.
anyways, after retaking my iq test and MENSA, apparently i got 148. *grins*
well, i used my iq to appeal into my secondary school and i've always been told i'm smart and what not. but, that really got into my head and hence i was as complacent as a dick.

making it to a JC - serangoon to be exact, wasn't something i had planned for. alas, i realized regardless of how smart you are, you HAVE to study. which i really realized too late.
its A' levels now and its my last chance to prove to myself, my own worth. but seriously, the stress is crushing. one exam to determine your worth...
i know its not gonna exactly determine my worth or what, but to me, its the last chance i have to prove to myself that i can really do it.

the stress is... i can't describe it, its like i feel my heart is gonna pop out any minute. and to think this is gonna last for 3weeks before it finally ends. get ready for cardiac arrest sylvester! you're gonna dieeeeeee.

anyways, all the best to those taking the A's with me!

can't wait for my darling to come back. its been way too long...

2010-11-03T17:55:00.001+08:00

when i hear really soulful music, the hair on my back stands.
and this is one that makes it really stand.

2010-09-26T06:22:00.010+08:00

THIS IS THE CUTEST THING EVER!
i'm happy i bought my Katy Perry cd and supported an artiste like her! She's reaching out to children and not just selling her body like other artistes.
tell me after watching that, you don't find it cool and creative? AWESOMEEEEEE~

oh yeah. To my knowledge, this episode was never aired. EFFING SAD RIGHT?
i mean seriously, parents afraid that kids will find it indecent? (here) im sure kids see more indecent things out there on the streets, especially in countries like America.
its probably because of their parents always staring at Katy's boobs that they think the kids will stare too. SERIOUSLY? kids whom are like less than 10 stare at boobs?
what the hell. C'MON SHARE THE KATY LOVEEEEEEEEeeeeee!

2010-09-10T01:13:00.000+08:00

this is how i feel.

2010-09-04T00:20:00.002+08:00

was i wrong?
really, was i wrong?

was it a wrong choice to want to get back together? why does it feel that the relationship is kinda one sided now. am i being paranoid and wondering too much or am i trying to live in denial.
there's so many thoughts on my mind.
undoubtedly certain things have changed a little i guess, but that's just me.

are there still doubts on your mind or is it the relationship just lost its spark for you? do you no longer feel that you want to be in the relationship and that you're just obligated to stay in it. or is it you want to move on but just uncertain of the future and rather stick to what you're familiar with.
what is it exactly on your mind now. i thought you've made up your mind and all.
but i'm just wondering right now, what is really on your mind. how come there's been a shift in paradigm.

i just hope i've made the right choice in deciding to fight for you and i'm not fighting for someone who no longer loves me.

2010-08-23T23:24:00.002+08:00

i feel as if i've lost my compass in life. all my plans, everything i've worked towards suddenly collapse and disappear.
my exams used to be an avenue for me to test myself and ensure i'm on par with the rest, hoping to be the cream of the crop and at least secure a future for us.

people tell me, education is important as it helps to guarantee my future. well, i dont want a future. i want a future for us. i don't regard myself as a singularity.
i have no idea it would come to this, never did it ever occur to me.
i thought we would last through thick and thin, hot and cold, up and down, in and out.

sigh, i don't know how to express how i feel.
my heart beats damn fast everyday, every second. the only thought in my mind is the times we spent together, and the many more we would spend. i know the A's has been tough on us. so as it would be for anyone, but its toll has been amplified because of the distance we have. however, the love i have would go to the ends of the Earth for you.
as i said during our early months together, i still hold to my words. i would go to the ends of the world for you - now and forever more.

what hurts me most is how a single guy, whom you've never talked to or at least know, sweeps you off your feet so easily. is our 29months and 15days (23 today) together worth that little, that insignificant. do i mean that little to you? sigh, my hear is torn to piecesss. bits and pieces which are now so worthless that the string theory wouldn't even bother to take them into consideration. ):

i really wish you could come back, hold my hand, feel my arms around you, feel your hear rest gently on my shoulder and i'll peck you cheeks and kisses and squeeze you tightly, never wanting to let you go.

life feels so empty, there's a void in my now, which i don't know if you're gonna fill it or leave it be. i don't want to pressurize you into making any decisions. i sometimes really detest how you make decisions because of opinions or because of what your friends say. i want the decisions you make to come FROM you, from your heart and with an unwavering grounding in its choice and understanding. where once a decision is made, no matter how confused you are, you can still look forward and know what you want, who you want.

though each passing day, waiting your decision is as if i'm awaiting the reaper to come and take me away. the uncertainty it brings forth is really really heart wrenching. i just pray and hope that you remember the times we spent together. i really really do hope you remember them. feel the surreal emotions it invokes, the goosebumps it causes as it did for me.
everyday i come home, look at the portrait and smile to myself knowing, at the end of the day, after the tough times, i can look forward to my one and only.
whom i always feel so happy and contented with.

but i understand there are times where we feel as if we want more. we want more, we want someone who looks better, is richer, is there, is whatever. true, everyone feels that way. i really do understand and empathize with those. but i've come to a point where i've learnt to be contented with what i have. i've learnt to treasure the things around me. though there are times when i feel i could have more or want more. i don't, cos i know i'm happy with you and that is all that matters to me - me being happy with you!

during my chemistry exam today, i have no idea how the hell did i manage to do so fast and seem to be a page ahead of my friend sitting beside me. i kept checking and wondering if i left out a question. it seems really weird, how did i do that fast when i was constantly thinking about you. at times putting my head down and wondering how did we come to such a point where our love is so easily forgotten? ):

2010-07-01T21:09:00.001+08:00

i HATE to make things public and announce it or rant it to a blog.
i'll just bare the torment i'm going through till i can't take it and spill it out.
its killing me. i've got no mood to do anything and i can't concentrate.

F-U-C-K!

2010-06-21T07:36:00.005+08:00

this was how i imagined my love to be. too bad i was born in Singapore where without education, you're most likely to be fucked.

javascript:void(0)

2010-06-16T02:08:00.002+08:00

oh dear lord, save us all.

With the recent BP disaster, no one can say we're safe.
Oceans are gonna become polluted, seafood is gonna get deplete and there's gonna be food shortage. 2012 at its very best.
i find it rather ironic, the thing humans need most(oil) is the damned thing that's gonna kill us all.
I've been watching youtube and follow a few of the oil spill videos. It seems there's more problems than what is being released publicly. Regardless of how bad the situation is, there isnt that much we can do.
Technology is created to help Man, seek for more oil. but often technology that's so focused with the economic prospects it brings forth, its no wonder no firms bother with preventive technology that will prevent such a disaster. If not prevent it, salvage the problem but not much is being done since nothing much can be done.
Its 2012 in the making my dear friends. We've lead our lives, hopefully meaningful ones.

Anyways, back to the reason why i wanted to blog. (Yes, its always something on my mind...)
I won't deny that arguing is usually fruitful, unless its arguing for the sake of arguing.
How would you argue its right to do the 'right' thing? Well, I've sure if you've followed my blog, you would know I've mentioned it before...
It always harder to argue for the right thing, even if you're utilitarian. Yes, EVEN if you're utilitarian.
To cheat or not to cheat? Would you cheat to gain entrance into a school?
Lets create a scenario, there's an entry test in the school and you've passed it but did not gain entrance because there were people who probably scored better or had other certificates. Would you then cheat to get in? Since you've already proven your self worth - that you're worthy to be in the school since you've at least passed the internal exams.

In my mind, both morally and deontologically, cheating will still be wrong.
Let me elaborate, morally it is wrong to cheat because when we cheat, we know we are gaining an unfair, unjust and prohibited form of advantage. Which would affect our conscience - if we have any. Well, to argue anything morally is fucking difficult. All good argument that I've seen which encompasses morality will always have some utilitarian arguments in it.
Deontological argument, when we cheat and gain unfair advantage that would mean that we've been irresponsible with our right. That meaning, we've been given the right to take exams and use the certificate for rightful purposes. If we were irresponsible, this very right might be taken away and soon we'll all have to take internal exams which is gonna be very difficult. Instead of a nationalized exam, we would have to go to many different schools to take different exams. Would you want that?
When we're irresponsible, who's to say others wont? Those who cheat and when asked why they do so, common replies would be " XXX did it also ". If others started to cheat, who can be sure that we won't be the one losing out. Imo, those who will benefit most would be those with the most money, those who can afford to cheat the most.
If the world we live in is going to be only governed by monetary terms, then i would say the world is going to become even more fucked up than it already is.
If i've told all this to someone and he still says ' i don't care, the future will not have me'. What more have i to say, if one is incapable of understanding the implications of our actions and how it may affect us in the future or worst, the world, then its really sad to see how the mind that is given by god, operates...

Its worst still when such actions are reinforced by others, again just for the sake of arguing. Without logical sound conclusions on issues that pertain to the world and in turn, them as well since they're part of the world.

Friends or not, i have my stand on certain issues. I will try my best to educate them, hopefully not at the expense of our friendship.

Again, my favorite topic - Music
Since when has music ever been about 'standards'? If music pleases your ears, if fucking pleases your ears. If one were to say this singer sucks and another the opposite, would it be fair to say nahhhh, he sucks?
The thing i like about music is that it's ambiguous. I feel that humans prefer lines, clear distinct lines. Where there's a simple right or wrong all made out for them. Like exams where one needs 50marks to pass. In games, the one with the most kills wins. In life, the one who's the richest is gonna win. - No? Isn't that why some people are so busy making money? Isn't it for the very same fucking reason i cannot understand why countries need to go crazy over economic growth?
What so wrong if every country were to remain as it is, with no economic growth and venture into something more meaningful apart from fucking money.
Music is mighty ambiguous to me, why? For every hater for any singer, there's always lovers. There's no distinct line to say who's better, or who's good or not. The fact that they're selling albums or releasing tracks, would mean they've passed certain checks to make sure they're audible. That meaning, its not just shit. I don't know how to define shit, but I'm sure you can conjure some to mind.
There aren't many things which are still ambiguous with people whom you can find some common interest with. But to take it anyway would be to deny something beautiful. I understand that not everyone accepts the same style of music and all, but it just fucked up to say it sucks and tell someone that he thinks its nice that he can't be a talent scout.
Its like, fuck you. Who's to say that you aren't the one with the fucked up ears to like a certain genre and type of music and that you make up the minority? Its fucking stupid.

I like pop, but you don't. From what i've seen, pop is still the biggest sector of the music industry, won't that mean that i'll be a better scout that you? No, it doesn't. It means that we all have our niche areas of interest. I won't go on further, but food for thought: Who's to say you set the line for music on what's good and not?

2010-04-28T03:05:00.004+08:00

"For ere this the tribes of men lived on earth remote
and free from ills [kakoi] and hard toil [ponoi]
and heavy sickness [nosoi argaleai]
which bring the Keres [baleful spirits] upon men;
for in misery men grow old quickly"

Once opened, she shut it in time to keep one thing in the jar: hope

is hope really that great afterall?
well- regardless of how you feel. i have to bring up this issue i have.
for starters, i really never believed in my school - SRJC.
well i've been hypocritical about it, after all i came from BDS, a neighborhood school.
and i never really thought the school would do well or anything, well you get the drift.

but after the school released the PW results last year, the senior's A' level results which seem to improve and of course my cohort's PW results as well. i was beginning to think that SRJC wasn't such a bad place.
thought i could have been better, i would say that the principle and school has been trying to prove itself.
and to think of it, the fact that my school wanted to raise fund for the school, after helping the needy first, decided on planting trees to offset their carbon footprint since they wanted to install air conditioning. i feel that helping the poor first should be of utmost importance after all, we function as a society and it would be selfish to ignore those around us.
anyway, back to my point. i realize that SRJC was quite a nice place. and i kinda hoped that SRCJ would become a reputable schoool. well, more reputable...

but after my school invited a lecturer, a botanist to give a talk at my school... ohhhh, it went down down down down.
obviously, i'm not gonna blame the talk. -.- it was what happened during the talk. well, maybe after the talk.
after the lecturer finished his presentation, we had Q&A, and mind you, you're talking to a lecturer in NTU. there was this schoolmate of mine, lets call him "fatfuckface" i think it suits him well. anyways fatfuckface went to the mic and asked
"errr, sir ah. how do you get to bukit timah ah? i dont know what bus go there lah."
i mean something along those lines.
lets not blame him for speaking like a loser with no education, but what the FUCK was with the fucking stupid question. i mean c'mon! we're already from a 16 point school and that puts us at bottom 5 jc's. DO NO FUCKING DEGRADE US.

i can imagine the lecturer going to NTU and saying "tsk, SRJC students are a bunch of retards."
if i were the principle, i would have scolded fatfuckface in front of the whole school and embarrass the fatfuckface. ohhhhhhh, i just love the way it sounds. fatfuckface. :D
i mean that fucker, whos obviously some loser with an IQ of <100?
i first got acquainted with fatfuckface during a lecture. where he was sitting beside my friend ans shouting out stupid comments. i mean by all means, if you wanna embarrass yourself, by all means. go fuck youself moron!

but when there's an external speaking, you're an ambassador of the school. use your fucking brains if you have any up in your thick skull.
sighs, fucking losers make SRJC look stupid. - read the joke below.
(i have no credit for em, just seach 'jc jokes' on google)

Q: How many RJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: 4 whole faculties. One to design the new bulb, one to manufacture and test it out, one to write a proposal on it and
one to market it. All because they don’t wanna get scolded by their GP teacher who yell at them for not doing the CIP work.

Q: How many HCJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The whole school. To compete with RJC.

Q: How many VJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: The whole school. One student to screw it in
and the rest to cheer and wave flags and banners to give him/her support.

Q: How many NJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They can study without light.

Q: How many TJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They think they are already very bright.

Q: How many AJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They’re too busy trying to study what they love.

Q: How many ACJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They rather use all their money to employ YJC to do it for them. They wanna break into the ‘Top 5′. Humanities Scheme? They’re the number 7 Science JC and the number 5 Arts JC (TJC is no. 6), mind you!

Q: How many YJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One. Only the teacher who tells them what a light bulb is in the
first place and to demonstrate how to change the light bulb (by fixing it). (He gets paid and pray that he’s not sued by CMPB.)

Q: How many CJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: They’d prefer it to be darker. (Hmmmm…*raises eye-brows* )

Q: How many JJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Their physics is so bad that they made their macho male physics teacher cry.

Q: How many TPJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. Would they even bother?

Q: How many SAJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They believe in praying for it.

Q: How many NYJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are still using oil lamps.

Q: How many SRJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Huh, what litebarb?

Q: How many MJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are too busy trying to get promoted.

Q: How many IJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. They are Innovians. They’ll find ways out of the dark.

Q: Who edited all this?
A: A Pioneer from PJC.

Q: How many PJC students does it take to change a light bulb?
A: I fix lor. I gonna get expelled from school thanks to the ex-Crescent tyrant’s rule. If I don’t fix the light bulb, how can I survive in my next course — Electrical Engineering at Republic Polytechnic? Thanks to her I most prob get retained la, so what I posted to JC? She sibeh bochap one. So much as us being the ‘caring college’. Caring to get promotion, eh? Let’s do 300 jumping jacks for not wearing the proper school attire first. Heck. I heard from my seniors that wearing polo tees in Tuesdays and Thursdays are allowed. Last Thursday I wore a polo tee and I kena get caught by Mr Yellyellyell. I even tucked in… my design looks better when I tuck in, it’s more neat what. How come… Here’s my friend, there, he does the jumping jack with me, he then never tuck in what. But what’s the use of tucking in stuff? Everyone’s not me or the rugby coach. Who tucks in anyway? C’mon, let’s do liao la. 1, 2, 3, 4.. 2, 2, 3, 4…

2010-04-20T00:42:00.003+08:00

http://www.straitstimes.com/STForum/Story/STIStory_514733.html
http://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=114121298611588&v=wall&ref=nf

HOLY SHIT. sometimes i look at our local community, and its fucking fucking fucking stupid. let me repeat that in case you didn't catch it. ITS FUCKING FUCKING FUCKING stupid.
got the message?

let me shoot down those losers who thinks the author is a jerk.

The fucking reason that a poly is a poly and a JC is a JC, mind you, i'm differentiating them, is because a poly caters to those who intend to join the work force while a jc caters to those who want to join the university.
if you can't accept that obvious fact then i think its utterly pointless to carry on this reasoning.
YES, its perceived that going to a university is harder, therefore only people of higher caliber(judging from O' levels) are given the privilege of joining a JC which helps you on your journey to a uni.

if you're gonna bring forth "what about the late bloomer part" ... then i'm gonna tell you to piss off. THAT'S A WHOLE DIFFERENT ISSUE, IF YOU WANNA TALK ABOUT THAT THEN ITS AN ISSUE REGARDING THE WHOLE EDUCATION SYSTEM. - take it to MOE, not a author who obviously has thought through issues in his head first.
in case if you're oblivious to what i'm saying... if you're gonna use the JC should be given equal privilege as POLY students to a university because of the late bloomers thing, then its fucking stupid. you should fucking tackle the root cause, which is banding in primary schools. in case you've forgotten - EM1,2 and 3.

back to the topic, if people say that poly should be given equal privilege to university. then who would wanna go to JC with the risk of failing and being able to do nothing. its always the case that if you go to JC you gotta take the risk of failing A's and going to limbo. unlike poly where you can start work once you graduate and even if you fail, its just internal exams and you can repeat modules.
and if that's the case, i'm sure most would have gone to poly if they're gonna be given equal privilege and that if you fail there's not gonna be any risk of going to limbo.
yes, you can argue about jc being 2years and poly being 3years, and that's the opportunity cost of taking a faster train. but i doubt 1 year would mean much if you knew could end up no where.

the fact that people still go to JCs even though they might not end up the top 1%, is because they can end up below average for a JC and still qualify for a university since a jc has greater privileges to university. yes then you can argue that they should have gone to a poly and just try to get a GPA of whatever. (i'm not sure on the details) but the fact is that it would be the top few percentile and it might be harder. hence the choice for a JC.
and OF COURSE poly students are still allowed to qualify for universities if they end up the top few percentile.
which is why i don't even see why the poly students are flaming the author. jesus christ, use your damned brains people before flaming. is what he's saying TOTALLY unjust and wrong? -.-

and if all there were equal privileges, then more JC students would have gone to poly. if you've read, theres a few students who score straight A's for A levels and decide to go to poly. if there were no distinction, then the jc students would go to poly and that would surely create even more competition and probably, those who currently are in courses you enjoy... you're gonna get displaced to some course that you don't want. or even worst, being displaced from a poly and having to join a private institute...

and if you feeeeeeeeeellllll so fucking strongly that you should have the same privilege to go to a university, FUCKING HELL. GO TAKE PRIVATE A' LEVELS. and stop taking the easy way out and having a back fall and whining like some bitch. the world isn't going to bend so much for you dickheads.
if you think that being in a poly gives you such a fucked up situation and you can't go to a university. then take the private A' levels. if you wanna go to a poly and have the privilege of being able to go to work, stop fucking whining that you should have all the fucking privilege.

you don't fucking see jc students whining "A' levels should deserve more credit and we should be able to use it to work. heck lets use it to the extent we can even compare to diplomas so we can get higher pay"
- would you fucking like that? the fact that A's is being down played in the working world has the very same effect on the diploma being down played in the pursuit of a university education

2010-04-19T01:25:00.003+08:00

holy shit. i think i need to see a psychiatrist...

i feel that life's meaningless. its like fucking boring and stupid.
i look everywhere and i feel its fucked up.
though i can understand why it happen, but i don't think it should be that way.

why are people spending so much and being materialistic when there are fucking people dying?
i know its impossible for there to be total equality but it just seems a bit too fucked up for me.
and of course there are many more things which i think is fucked up.
jesus! i need help. :(

PS: i got A for my PW.
apparently my parents don't really care. maybe they don't really know. but afterall, with all the fucking effort i've put in. i REALLY think i deserve it. and so did my groupmates deserve what they got.
me and yiling(the only girl in the group) got an A, rest got a B.
which i honestly, feel is what each actually deserved. i think weighee and david got a B cos they woke up at the last minute and put in the necessary effort which i helped them alittle. but seriously, for all the shit they've put me through for the earlier parts, i could have hoped they got a C. but i'm not such a fucker, after all they're my classmates, group members, school mates and friends. well not really close friends. but thank god they didn't get a C. well, you reap what you sow.

2010-04-16T06:47:00.001+08:00

PW RESULTS TODAY! =X

2010-04-12T04:52:00.002+08:00

HAPPY BIRTHDAY CX!
OLD ALREADY. LOL~

well i doubt he's gonna read this, but i will when i grow really old one day and look back at this blog. :D
anyways, i just realized something i've lost since JC.
i think i've forgotten how to party and have fun... seriously, the time i spend outside is about once in 3weeks...
thats if i'm kinda free, otherwise its totally home, school, home, school and the cycle repeats.

i dont know if its me just worrying about my unfinished homework or i've really forgotten how to have fun. sighsss. just feels damn weird.

anyways, i read few days ago then the government is gonna ban the new nicotine products. some dissolvable nicotine strip. well i'm not sure what it is, but i dont think its smoking... but its chemicals attained from smoking.
you know, whenever i stop my friends from smoking i wonder why do i do it? cos i dont want them to harm their health? - well, thats true.
but i have also thought about, why should i stop them? noooo, its not i dont care. i care alot and i've been thinking.
sometimes i think they smoke cos they enjoy it, if they really enjoy smoking as in the high they get from it or whatever you call it. (i dont know, haven't tried before. SERIOUSLY)
if they really enjoy it and i keep stopping them. then its abit fucked up right? i mean its not i'm a dick who rather let my friends smoke their life away.
but i'm a friend who wants my friends to be happy. i dont want to let them live longer but more boring lives. i mean thats one aspect of it. but the thought of them falling sick, like seriously sick kinda makes me feel obligated to stop them.
but then again, if they enjoy it then it kinda defeats the purpose right... they're smart enough to know the consequences, and if they continue doing it, my assumption is that they'd rather be leading fulfilling lives rather than longer lives...

and back to the government banning the nicotine shit. i mean why would they wanna ban that? if they can attain the personal benefit without harming society, negative externality. then there's really no need to ban it, and probably they should ban cigarettes and allow these new products. its going to allow smokers to have the same feel(i would assume that if we're talking strictly chemicals), and its not harming other people.
the only reason why smoking isn't encouraged is that it harms yourself as well as other people around you. if you just take the chemicals straight, isn't that gonna cause LESS harm to you and no harm to others around you. -just from the smoking.

so i wonder, would i be a bad friend if i continued to let them smoke? or should i let them continue smoking at the expense of their health for enjoyment.
well to me this is like euthanasia, should the government allow people to end their lives if they're too sick? some says yes cos its really painful and all, some says no cos it the goal of the government to ensure your wellfare. so then again it's really controversial...

2010-04-03T07:30:00.010+08:00

this song is epic!
its like i totally feel for this song. totally
i know there are miley haters, but i mean just listen to the song even if u can't stand seeing someone obsessed with miley. LOL. its damn hilarious to see someone so obsessed with miley...

2010-03-01T00:02:00.003+08:00

2 years have passed, which would translate as
104 weeks, 730 days, 17520 hours, 1,051,200 minutes and 63,072,000 seconds.
wonder who did i pass these days with? none other than my beloved cheryl, well in fact my one and only cheryl. :D

many wouldn't be able the phantom the time i have spent with my dear girl. though i may not be as expressive as i want to be. by this i simply mean, i'm not as romantic as i would like to be. but my heart stays true to my one girl. 2 years is a really really long time, never would have thought that the girl would be her. ahahahaha. actually i did, other wise why would i have gotten with her. duhh~
anyways through out these 2 years. we've had our fair share of problems. gone through sad times, happy times, even angry times. but whats most important is that, each time we get through a hurdle, we become stronger together. though the fucking distance between us makes is saddening, she's always there for me. and same here, i'm always here for her if she ever needs me.

happy as ever. i bet i look damn cute in this pic, cute than cheryl. ahhh what the hell. i bet i look even sexier than the oh so proportionate kim yu-na who won gold for figure skating in Vancouver. c'mon, who wouldn't pay a million bucks to see me smile like that? =D

sad times as most would imagine. well i know this pic doesn't do any justice. but ahhh what the heck. i have no idea why i pout-ed and took the pic. well, guess it was for the fun of it. LOL!

hahahahha. i love this pic. epic~!
well, obviously you can tell i wasnt actually angry. but my girl tolerates me for all the nonsense i have and even have fun with me sometimes. ahhhh, my lovely darling.
love you now and always. come back to me soon and safe.

2010-02-21T19:14:00.002+08:00

'its the principle, a pig has the same rights as a man' - Larry Flynt

recently, i've been immersing myself in Larry Flynt. many a times we take things for granted and assume its our basic right and neglect the need to think about such rights.
Freedom of expression is really, in my opinion something quite complex on its own lest its ability to weave itself into all our principles in life as well as laws.
probably its for this very reason, its complexity that Singapore does not embrace 100% freedom of speech.

to most, Larry Flynt would be a douche and whatever you prefer to label him as. honestly, i don't find that hard to imagine. afterall he has 29 porn magazines under him. - yes he does produce that much fucking porn magazines. kudos to him!
i learnt many many many things from Larry Flynt.

why is it so hard for homesexuals to get married and theres always the need to live a life of secrecy? why is the public getting more open to such things?
well i think by showing something which most would immediately think its taboo, will help to break the taboo.
i mean what the first people think of when the first girl told her parents that she wanted to go to school? -look at the world now, both males and females have the same rights to go to education and not necessarily bound to their 'gender roles', for instance housewives. -oh and before someone gets smart with me, by the world i mean the general standard.

freedom of expression? many things oppress this very notion that we all have, for one religion oppresses it. ideals/norms/community standards all oppress this very idea of freedom of expression. look around you, its everywhere imo.
“Religion has caused more harm than any other idea since the beginning of time. There's nothing good I can say about it. People use it as a crutch.” - Larry Flynt
though i do not agree 100% with it, theres some truth to it. but it has oppressed many things which we could enjoy.
to enjoy such a freedom, one has to fight for it and in which Larry Flynt did. - for porn magazines.
however ironic it may seem to some, fighting for freedom of speech to produce porn? the very ideals brought forth from fighting for it enlightened me. probably unheard of to most, well i guess its due to the fact that the movie 'Larry Flynt vs The People' was banned in singapore.

what do laws mean to you? something that i did not really went to think about. i mean why are there laws?
most would say its created to maintain law and order, to instill fear to keep order in society. but does anyone wonder what do laws do beside prosecuting people?
what i was enlightened with, was that laws represent community standards.
why in Malaysia, women get canned for having sex out of wedlock? does it help to keep law and order?
laws are the general beliefs of people in the country and represent the community standards. the fact that the women were canned for their acts, meant that its unacceptable to the Malaysian community and they felt that as a community, the women should be punished.
you all feel me? not every law is to help maintain order, though most are. its the general beliefs of the society. and if you think it thorough, if the general beliefs of society is met, then there would be order.

anyways, i just went out with my friends and had a long chat.
rather enlightening i would say. at least for me since i was at the receiving end of it at some parts.
i realized that i have been rather insensitive to my friends feelings. i mean i kept on downplaying what ever argument he has with the fact that he hasn't been in a relationship before.
i totally understand how fucking irritating can be.
but why do i bother to do that? its the fucking fact the sometimes, you go away with the ideas which you perceive to be true which in very fact they aren't true. and its gonna be fucking detrimental to you live. though you might not be able to see it, at the very core. all i have is your interest. afterall why the fuck would i downplay my friend? i dont want ya to go away thinkinf live's a bitch when its not always a bitch. life is what you make out of it.

sometimes i feel people agree with one another without even thinking through. i mean, how can it be that people agree with one another when i'm still processing what they just said? am i that slow? i hope not =x
but there are times which it just irks me when people do that. i mean whats the point of always agreeing? yes theres times where you agree, but there are times where you dont. when its during discussions, agreeing blnidly is as good as not even being in the discussion.
yes i dont deny that i'm rather critical in some sense, to the extent it might be irritating. but to me, some things that are mentioned dont make sense to me. at least in the very essence it was brought forth, makes no sense to me.

pardon me if i offend anyone. but i've felt the same way.
if people choose to get over someone by choosing to dwell on a negative trait, or forget/get your mind off temporarily. then it wont really be getting over someone since its just temporary, thought i agree 100% thats its totally necessarily, it should not be used as a long term solution. people say that its a way, but its not the only way and not the right way, imo. if you really fall for her, and i mean deeply.
if you can choose to dwell on a negative trait to get over her, means you would have known about it when you fell for her. and you decide to move on why dwelling on that negative trait? come onnnn, if you could fall for her knowing about that negative trait, how is it that you can forget/move on or whatever by dwelling about it. well that what i realized while i was being a emopotatoe a long time ago.
thats just how i feel, regardless of how you choose to move on, by thinking of her less/ getting your mind off/ deceiving yourself. i feel that its not right, at least for the long term development of ones wellbeing.
what i realized was, just accept it and move on, it may be harder but its better.

time to go makan already, and sometimes i just feel i should just shut the fuck up. better for everyone. less argument, less trouble.

2010-01-31T02:46:00.005+08:00

wwwooooww!

hahahaha. i think i've gone crazy!
OPAH OPAH~!

2010-01-17T20:03:00.000+08:00

okayyy. i feel fucking stressed right now. :(
and my h3 is not longer at VJ cos it clashes with my lessons, so i have to go to HCI to take my h3 since the days don't really clash with my lessons.
i'm sooooo going to get spit on by the HCI students.

HCI student: what are you doing here? are you lost?
me: nope. i'm going for h3 lessons.
HCI student: which school are you from?
me: errr. S... s... SR...
HCI student: WTF? you, taking h3? *puix9999*

this keeps repeating in my head. i feel so intimidated going there lah. i also heard its effing big there. wahhhhhhhh. :(:(:(:(

anyways, my life is fucked.
monday: SCHOOL, H3 @ HCI
tuesday: SCHOOL, CCA
wednesday: SCHOOL, gp tuition
thursday: SCHOOL, H3 @HCI
friday: SCHOOL, CCA
weekends is mostly tuition. arghhhhh fml.

and my cheryl is going back to Melbourne soon to start uni. i'll be so fucking lonely...

2009-11-30T01:31:00.003+08:00

yeashhhh! me ish gotten mie H3 Physics!
LOL, imma twit-tard.

okayyy, lame aside. i've gotten my H3 physics! woooohooo! NTU contemporary physics at VJC!
sighhs. i've got to miss class on some days to go for lessons at VJ. my school doesn't offer it, so i have to go to other jc's to take.
but its a privillage to be taking it and i'll fucking do my best and fucking bring SR to greater heights. - hopefully. LOL

anyways, i've been thinking. (yes, when i think it results in blogging)
what should i do when i grow up? should i become a scientist, since i have a great interest in science and how stuff works. or should i take finance and earn loads loads loads of money!

what ya all reckon?
should i try to help the world by becoming a scientist and earn a pathetic wager? i mean, its really honourable to be helping the world. but then, WHY ME?
why should i put myself on the line and help the world and not be materalistic and spendspendspend and become happyhappyhappy. after all, most scientists aren't that rich and have a hard time trying to push their way to get funds for their research...
the world isn't doing much to help itself. come on, think about it. how many people out of the trillons of people on earth are helping the earth?
people set up businesses, selling clothes, games, food and many many many more. but for what?
to satisfy the current needs of human. yes true. but don't you all feel that Man is being spoilt with choices. and yes, i know choices allows us to have a variety and stuff.
but apart from just selling goods, shouldn't we try to help Mankind? improving lives, improving the way we live, improving health, improving the earth...

when you live, what's the purpose of your existence on earth? why were you even put on earth in the first place?

to sell food? to sell clothes? to sell games? and just earn money and live your life day by day?
or should we live and help the world, afterall whats the point of living if we don't make anything out of it. i'm sure most of us haven't thought about this.
its like, you wanna live your life just providing demand for goods and thats all? you're not gonna give back to the world?

sighss. i dont know.
i wanna live a happy and easy life with money. i wanna drive a ferrari and be a materalistic asshole. yes i'm sorry. but i'm being honest... how many of you would rather live in a smaller house so you can donate more money to help the less fortuante? - i'm sure most you wont...
so should i try to be rich and lead a happy life with my wife, cheryl? (lol. she's gonna be my wife at 24!)
afterall i wanna make her happy and we'll be able to lead a happy life and grow old together.

but then i dont wanna look back and go, "wow, i've been working, earning, living and taking care of my family... but what about the rest?"
its uberrrr selfish. but then, why should i when people aren't doing much about it either.
people just take comfort in the fact that there are other people doing it already. why should we do it since there's other people. i can just do other stuff and lead a easier life.
but then, won't that make our life fuckedup. just living for ourselves and not doing a shit for Mankind and the earth...

fuckkkkkkkk. i don't know, why should i sacifice my happiness for the world when there are people who don't even give a damn about stuff like that.
sighsss, wo bu zhi dao worzxzxzxzxz.

2009-11-15T01:12:00.002+08:00

HELLO WORLD!
i'm back after duperrrrrrrr long, as usual.
well, not very much has happened thus far.

firstly, CHERYL'S BACK! MY DARLING'S BACK.
I'M GOING ECSTATIC! the wait has been long, but its gonna be sweeettt times together. wooohoo! its been way too long since i last met her lah. :(
its fucked up waiting for so long. i miss her shit loads man...
and she totally dao-ed me at the airport, apparently cos her parents and some of my friends were there. so she's shy and decided to ignore me.
i know! - magnificent! -.- weeellll, i forgive her anyways. what to do, love her too much already.

andddd, P-R-O-M-O-S are over!!!
actually i don't even know whats there to be happy about. after all i look forward to the promos and aimed to do well. and now my next target: A level.
well its good that i'm aiming for A's now, but it sucks that its so far and thus it becomes sort of a deluded aim. sighsss, life feels meaningless these past few days... after results till cheryl came back!
and to those people wondering how i did. i did relatively well in my school.
yesssssss i know, i know. i know i have the oh-so-awesome ahbeng face and everyone just has to think i'm some dumbshit.
"so syl, did you get retained?" - errr. wtf man, don't just assume i'll retain. why can't they ask if i promoted. do i look that dumb?
there's others...
"hey! so how's your results? 50 what" - lol. this is better than the one above, but its just. errrr. well i've been putting in shit loads of effort. actually, come to think of it again. thinking that i got 50above in my school, SRCJ (sorry, i'm not proud of this school), should be quite a privillege considering that i think at least 40% had below 35 rank points. that would mean failure to promote. thus they can either sit for a repaper, if they get 18-34rank points. if they pass, it renders an advancement for J2... those below 18 are retainined. so... i guess its a sorta privillege?

and to those who's wondering what is the rank point system, i'll gladly lend you a hand.

for H2 subjects - which are a must! in JC you need at least 3 H2, 1 H1, PW, GP and ML. and of all one has to be a contrasting subject.
soooo, if one scores(for H2 subjects):
0-39 - U grade - 0 points
40-44 - S grade - 5 points
45-50 - E grade - 10 points
51-55 - D grade - 12.5 points
56-60 - C grade - 15 points
61-69 - B grade - 17.5 points
70 - 100 - A grade - 20 points

and for H1 is just half of everything.
so for promo's we have 3 H2, 1 H1 and GP which are counted into our results. chinese can be added and then rebased so see which gives a higher, but lets not go into that.
oh yeah, GP is considered a H1 subject as well. so half of the points you see above.
and if you think about it, seriously, its actually quite hard to retain... i mean if you just do your work and listen in class. it not that hard to be promoted. if you got E for every paper, you've got 40points (10 + 10 + 10 + 5 + 5). sighs and i think 40% retained or had a repaper?
thats SRJC for you, nahhh 40% retain/repaper is unheard of in RJC.

i should stop rambling about studies. i sound like a nerdddddd. lawlllll!
cheryl's back! i am like gonna spend 90% of my time with her. why only 90%. i can't spend the other 10% cos she has a friendsssssssss. which apparently only ONE, turned up at the airport to pick her up. apart from her oh-so-awesome/loving/greatttt boyfriend sylvester who always turns up to pick her. be it from australia or work, i'm there! i know i rock! =D

2009-09-27T06:46:00.001+08:00

i'm now a Kings of Leon fan. WOOOO

2009-09-23T20:21:00.004+08:00

i'mmm baccckkk!
yuppity-yup. i'm back with my cheryl. LOVESSS!
i would draw a biggggg red heart if i could, but i can't. god has forbidden me to draw, its just too hideous.

soooo, yup. while i was away, i've gained perspective in my life again. APART from just frigging studies. i have my cheryl as well and thats what keeps me happy.
you know there just times where you happen to take things for granted. well, i have my reasons for breaking up. but now, i have even more reasons to get back and love her for as long as she lets me.

i'm those type of people whom likes to plan ahead. but my mistake was that i didn't take into accout cheryl's feelings. i knew i had to breakup(i frigging hate this word) with her in order for me to realize how important she was to me again. its really difficult okay! you have no idea how distance is fucking my ass inside out and upside down. its really screwing things up, and i needed to reconcile this shitty fact.
you know the saying where one never realize the importance of something till he loses it? thus i decided to breakup and lose her. you know whats ironic?
i'm the one who wanna breakup cos i realized i was being a bitch and a fucking lousy boyfriend.

its like this, if you dont do your work. normally your parents will tell you "you better fucking buckup or i'll take ur phone away for the rest of your life and banish you into the closet!"
for me, i realized i was doing bad and i voluntarily decided to breakup. hahaha. i kinda expected cheryl to tell me she wanted a breakup cos i was a dick. but nahh, i knew how much she loved me and she couldn't bare to tell me that. EVEN though i wasn't giving her what she deserved.
i know its hard for most to comprehand what i did. but its just as simple as that, seriously.
yeah, you can say its cos i was interested in another girl. well, honestly flings come and go everyday. but i realized that, i could never like another girl when i have such a beauty. hahaha. i sound fucking corny. hmmmm, cup corn?
but yeahhhh, i realized that and knew after the breakup i would love her even more than i did before.

you know what. life is life and they don't go way things are planned out to be. i forgot to take into account cheryl's feelings. well i mean i knew she would get hurt and all, but to me. its for the greater good for her. well after all i do love her and i want the best for her, even if that means i gotta stab myself in the leg first.
but now i've realized, i've accidentally stab both legs. ):
i never expected her to actually have her feelings change for me to this extent. of course i knew there would be some stuff to get over, but not till this extent ya know. it makes me feel that i'm in a failing relationship and anyday she might just go. well- thats how i'm feeling. truthfully.
its like now things have changed on her side, and its taking a serious toll on me. i never expected her love for me to fade this much. -okay i know fade isnt the right word, but i'm getting S for my GP for a reason kay. lol
maybe cos she's broken about that true love doesn't last anymore or what. but the fact is that i'm here and i still love her and will always do. sighs, its just fucking pain.

i feel as if i'm going through a breakup right now. my heart aches every now and then, and i keep thinking of her. maybe its god punishing me back. well, both legs have been stabbed. its either gonna recover or i'm just gonna die. who knows? -god knows.

and i KNOW. i sound damn corny and cheesy at times with all my lovelovelovelovelove-loving.
but its just the way i am. if i love means i love, i'm not gonna stop loving cos i sound cheesy or what. sorrrweeee.
noOOoOoo way! love is love and i love my cheryl darling.
WOOOOOO! cupcorn is niceeee!

i do hope things go back to the way they were, soon. i'm dying here.

2009-09-08T04:56:00.001+08:00

don't ask me why cos i'm a jerk/asshole/whatever.
i KNOW.

get off my back guys... i'm single

2009-08-13T00:33:00.002+08:00

one, two buckle your shoe
three, four shut the door...

well, i don't blog much cos my life's been rather repetitive.
its goes as follows: school, eat, work, sleep, computer, school, eat, work, sleep, computer, school eat, cca, work, sleep, computer...
yeah, you get the drift... its pointless to blog about my life, hence the low post count.

hmmmm. i don't know about you guys. but i hate to go to sleep with a quarrel at hand, by this i mean the quarrel hasn't been resolved.
but for me, i prefer to resolve all my quarrels before going to bed. yes i like to go to bed without a heavy heart. and i'm not a believer in "it'll be better in the morning..." , actually i find it kinda dumb to think that way. its like why on earth would it make any difference other than the fact that sides might have cooled down or whatever. problems are problems unless you do something about it.

in my relationship with my girlfriend, i do not go to bed with quarrels at hand. i'll make an effort to resolve em before i go to bed and i'll enjoy my sleep. i'm a pig who needs like 12+ hours of sleep. so i like my sleep well done. :D
but jokes aside, i usually do make an effort to resolve em. but as of late things have changed...
but what can i expect? i should have been smart enough to know that this was coming, if my girl goes overseas and studies there. its only natural that she becomes more independent and thus less dependent on me, something i'm not in favour of.
but its inevitable that this would happen, and when we quarrel its different. i noticed it the time when we quarreled at the Esplanade. yeah i know! its like who would quarrel at such a nice place right?!?! -well, beats me. =x

what am i supposed to feel? mr/mrs experience come and give me some enlightnment. its like i don't know what to feel or what should i be feeling. am what i'm feeling right?
ohhhhh mr/mrs experience, come and let me attain enlightnmentttt. :(
its different to be living off on nothing but just pure communication, no dates, no movies, no holding hands, no nothing. -just communicating. yeah, i won't deny this sucks. but its the path i chose cos i love her and don't wanna part just yet. lol, maybe never. hahahahaha.

but its like really darn fcuked up. i don't know how to explain this, i can't put a word on this.
well, i believe its cos of how i feel(which i'm sure everyone feels) that people can't define emotions properly. dictionary provides the scientific aspect of emotions which makes no bloody sense, emotions are emotions which normally go against scientific analysis... just my 2cents

i'm just blogging to let myself remember things when i look back at life, be it good or bad who knows. after all, a blog is kinda like a diary without a pen. lawl. i don't know. who gives a damn?

big no. 2

2009-07-03T01:46:00.002+08:00

The drops of rain they fall all over.

Down down downnnnn. I feel like uberish down right now.
it hurts really bad, but you just don't know cos you can't see it. being alone for 5months and having to tide through problems alone have allowed me to mask my problems. but problems are just problems, you on the other hand are the world to me. when problems arise, i either solve em, work my way round em or just don't give a damn. but when it comes to you, i can't do neither.

I cant work my way round you, love doesn't work that way. i know its corny and cheesy but its a fact, well at least to me it is. and i cant ignore a problem when it concerns you...
it takes a toll on me and i doubt you know it does. i try solving problems with you but you always ain't have anything to say to me other than 'sorry' which is kinda meaningless. i don't want a 'sorry' cos anyone can say that. i wanna know whats from you, and thats what makes you, you!
no other can replace you and i wanna hear whats from the inside. whats going on within, i wanna help you or at least understand why you're behaving in such a manner.

Its fucked up when i try my best to explain my point of view to you and you just seem oblivious to you. and i usually give it my all when i'm explaining to you cos i know sometimes you just cant see it, and you throw tantrums at me. you know... it hurts. i have feelings like you do. i'm not a robot, but a man. a man created by god similar to you.
so try to be more understanding as i am to you when i explain to you certain things cos it aint easy for me to say it neither it is for you to hear it. but it has to be done, i dont want to move on with a big blank in our relationship.

when you neglect me, what can you expect from me? c'mmon, i'm sacrificing alot for you right now kay. i only have 1month with you and i'll spend as much time as i can with you. and when you neglect me its kinda saddening. actually its realllly really saddening and i start to think. why? -why are you neglecting me now? -why not previously? -why why why
you have to understand that i do love you and even the littlest action matters to me cos you're my girlfriend whom i love with all my heart and every beat there is, is for you.

You used to fight for me with all you've got an you're usually the first one to say sorry even if you're not always wrong.
I know its cos you love me. I fight hard for you too, i will never let you slip past me and no one shall beat me to you unless you've told me to stop. i'll never stop unless you tell me to. why? Cos i love you. its just that fighting for someone i love is whats right to me and is what makes me, me. But what happens when you don't fight as hard as you usually would?
i'll leave you to figure on your own, cos i dont know the answer to that question either.

i know it seems stupid whinning over some small neglection, but the fact is that you've been gone for 5months. i've been waiting 5months and when i get this ONE month, you're gonna neglect me? of course i dont expect 100% attention non-stop, but not totally neglect me as if i was invisible. it's saddening to see this happening in the only month we get to be together after 5months. i know i'm not the best boyfriend in the world but i can assure you that i love you with all my heart. you're always on my mind no matter when kay.
loving comes with hurt, and thats something i've cast upon myself by loving you.
when you hurt me, its a million times worser than you think. if i didnt love you as much as i did, i wouldnt give 2cents bout it. but the frigging fact is i love you and its with all i've got.

i feel my english is fucked up when i'm feeling down... -.-
maybe its just that i got a damned 40% for GP? doubleyou-tee-eff man.
fourt percent is pathetic!

2009-06-21T03:00:00.004+08:00

a new story unfolds...

i knowwww... i havent't blogged in like ages. Its been really stressful in jc, well i guess its the same for everyone in jc. what's worse is the the travelling time. its really differnt from when i was in BDS. ohhhh. those times where home was just 3bus stops away. AHHHHHH. i miss those days...

anyways, my mid-years over... HA! i bet you all didnt expect that right? most JC's mid years are after the june holidays, butttt my ohh-soo-awesome school had to put it before and ruin the tradition. ohhhh, do i hear someone out there saying its better? well... its better for NOW. i have less to study during the holidaysss. but during promos we have more to be tested on. so its not necessarily better if you look in the long run.

ANDDDD. there's this mofo in my school. well a teacher who called me a pest for being noisy in GP class. well, wtf man. its like 60% people are talking and ohhh-sorry for my lound voice. i didn't know you despised testerones... and so much for you calling me a pest in front of the class.
well do take note then apart for the 60% talking. 35% were sleeping... so how about being fair you mofo?
i can't believe that in a JC teachers are still so unreasonable. people are talking as well and there are people SLEEPING. so how about you go screw yourself yeah?

hmmmm. apart from the mofo GP teacher. i must say i have great teachers, they make learning enjoyable. maybe my maths tuitor has gotta learn to stop, stopping when the class talks. (even if its just a slighttt sound he'll stop. -.- we just lose our concentration. pissing...)
buttt yeah, my maths tuitor has this expectation of me and i'm damn afriad to let him down. in some way or another. and my mom spend tons on my maths tuition so i'm gonna Ace maths all the way.
again, chemisty is pulling my balls. it sucks man. since secondary i sucked at chem with all the damned memory work, its killing me in JC too.

andddd HAPPYYY BELATED BIRTHDAY CHERYL!!!
i know i didn't post during her b-day. well, i wasnt in the blogging mood... but this is supposed to be a make up post i suppose. lawl.
since i was such a lame-o boyfriend for not doing anything special for your b-day. well there was no cake, no surprises, nothing new. HAHAHAH. sorry lahhhh =x
maybe cos i ruin the surprise about the Singapore Flyer. well, i must say the first 5mins was like wowww. then it went to, okayyyyy... so now what? -.-
and i'm afriad of heights. READ THAT CHERYL! i'm afraid. seriouslyyyy...

yeahhh, i know. CAN'T A GUY BE AFRAID OF HEIGHTS? anyways, i made something for cheryl cos i was out of ideas about what to get her for her b-day. its like i'm out of ideas i suppose. BUTTTTT, i make up for my lack of ideas with resoucefulness.
and i'm sure many of you out there knows how sucky my art is. i never did well in art and i can never draw a line straight. you should look at my secondary maths. my fractions always looked like shit. i'm sure someone can attest to that.
AHAHAHAHA. i sucked in drawing. okaoykaoykaoykaoy. enough about my suckiness. what did i do for cheryl.
i can't put a word on what i made for her. its like a display thingy. i went to art friend for resources. and yeah, its a reallyyyyy great place. i sticked the words happy b-day cheryl on some pebbles and made a displaye. and then i filled a test tube with gel and put in words inside.
the testtube thingy was hell mannn. but i must say it looked great to me.

here are the pics (THEY DON'T DO JUSTICE TO MY HARDDWORK):

2009-04-05T02:56:00.002+08:00

studyyy break at 3am.

okay, so i was at cold storage this evening buying stuff. then i saw this boy who held this pack of twisties and saying to his mom.

mommy can win a wii leh
mommy can win a sony psp leh
mommy can win a ipod leh
mommy can win *something which he couldn't pronounce*
mommy can win *tries hard to pronounce* ... whatever.
and he just walked off.

i was standing there with my arms crossed(super cool pose. HAHA) and i was like thinking of which chips to buy and i was laughing at that boy lah. i mean if you were there you would get what i mean. lawl. i ended up not buying any chips. =x

2009-04-04T01:57:00.003+08:00

etched
not everything can be forgotten.
run all you want, but hide you shan't.
inevitably it'll catch up and you'll start running again

anyways, i think stressed has called upon Davy Jones' locker to return the key once thrown in.
yes, i haven't forgot my best friend, John. but stress has called upon him to be returned to destress.
life is getting dull. everything revolves around work. of course there's some joy in it(self comforting), when you manage to accomplish something which your classmates can't. it just feels great. well, its the same when your classmates can and you can't.
yeah, i have great friends there. but i have greater friends here who apparently has forgotten about me. HAHAHA. well, its a fact. i'm in jc and my time is wayyyyy different from theirs.
nope, i'm not gonna grow up like my dad with no friends.
sighs. i hardly meet up with the guys now. i reach home earliest is about 5? that's on a friday.
i watch my movies online now. improvision has to made.

there's this effing thing bugging me. ever since i got into Jc and stopped blogging so frequently. my spelling has become worse. i can't spell simply words like 'scenario' 'mandarin' 'manipulating' and i can't remember what else. but i find myself fucking dumb... blogging has pros to it yeah.

oh yeah. i feel terribly mean to my darling. i hardly talk to her now a days. its tiring to face the computer and talk to her. tiring because its the computer for god's sake. there's like a million things to do on the computer and i have to focus on msn and talk to her. how i wish we still had to ohhh so useful phone.
sighsss. i guess even if i had a phone with no extra charges for calling overseas. i wouldn't be able to talk to her so frequently. school's full of work and with PW started. its like you got no time to do shit. and it eats into sleep time. hence leading me to sleep on my precious weekends. sighssss.
but yeah, its hard but i'm managing quite well. so many a time where i want to just call her or sms her. but i think twice before doing so. its like frigging expensive to sms/call.
well. i'm just looking forward to june. hopefully i can finish all my frigging work before she comes back.

self reminder: A Different View CD (Cosmic Armchair)

2009-03-12T03:55:00.003+08:00

could good exist without bad?
could light exist without darkness?
could heat exist without cold?

soooo. could they? how could you define good? without bad, there would be anything to serve as a baseline for your judgment.
what is darkness? the absence of light. hence without one the latter wouldn't exist.

well. my damned compo question during gp was "television only sever to expose Man's base instincts. do you agree?
and this set me thinking... and i don't know how i realized that the good could not exist without the bad as nothing would give you a base line to cast your judgment upon. but what the heck. who cares. i hate the television topic. its darn dry and monotonous. its like argument with no fun. its just plainnnnnnnnn dry, imo.

ohhh. and may the good lord bless me. i have 3 tests tomorrow. sighsss. econs which i've yet to master. maths which apparently is only one question, meaning a careless mistake renders a fail. and theres physics on kinematics which i've yet to fully grasp. fuckityfuck!

2009-03-06T02:51:00.002+08:00

redbull gives you wings!

redbull DOES give you wings, providing you have space to grow em. similarly, if you're dead tired. redbull can't do shit. i know. i've tried it.
sighs. schools busy and i don't have time for myself. hence it eats into my dearly beloved sleep time.

the main reason behind this post is cos, i feel inspired. i just watched slumdog millionaire. hahaha. i don't have time for the movies okay...
and yes, now i know why it won so many damned awards. its award-worthy! its sooooo, destiny-ish that i watched this show. HAHAHA. i'm serious. if you guys have the time. you should watch it. me give it good good ratings. fear not, my ratings are that weird. whats nice to me should be nice to you.

anyways, i've caught up on some local music. ahhhh. it gives me that oohh-sooo-warm feeling deep inside when i hear it.
check out: dancing on - pixel apartment
yes. local music. the entire song is writting by one guy and its the same guy who plays the song and multi records it. TALENT. i wish i had that talent. :(
and i've realized that popular local music are mostly indie music. not say thats bad, its just common. but i must say, it does suit the local setting we have.

ohhhh, and i scored a whopping 3/10 for my partial fractions test. fuckityfuck for that. i lost 7 marks cos, after a simple long division which gives -3x-6 i wrote it back into a fraction as -3x+6
AHHHH. the piss-ing-ness of negative signs. sighsss... well at least i know my method and steps and presentation and everything was great. only the effing negative sign.

sighs. 2 more months till cheryl come's back. a longgggggg wait. but i'm waiting. now that i have to sms her less its gonna be an even longer wait.
yes it amounted to a whopppppping $121 in excess. if you know my bills, anything more comes out of my pickeypockety pocket. arghhh. after cca i reach home at 10. there's no time for msn. -.- its 1am there for goodness sake. mehhmemhemhmehmehmemhmehhhh~

its 3.01 and i need to go and sleep. MAY GOD BLESS THOSE WHOM ARE TAKING THEIR A'S RESULT TOMORROW.
if i recall, that would be christel's brother and the rest of singapore. well her brother's a really nice guy okayyy. he's great in floorball. additional points for him! +10!

2009-02-20T01:16:00.002+08:00

days swiftly come and go

alrightyyyyy. its been a long time since i've posted.
anyways, an update on my O's. for those whom are interested(i wouldn't have the slightest idea why), i scored 6points. A1's for everything. BEAT THAT!
NAHHHhh, it would be too unfair. i studied at the last minute. to be precise 2 weeks before O's and i had to forgo POA. :(

my results are as follow-
english - b3
maths - a2
a.maths - a2
physics - b3
chemistry - b3
humanities -b3
clb - merit

that would sum up to a whopping 16. after my cca deductions i have 14. tahhhdahhhh.
you know... saying i got all B3 does sound kinda nice. but once you add up the l1r5, you go whattdahhheffffff. its like b3 seems alright in some context. but maybe i was just consoling myself.
as for now, i'm currently in SRJC(serangoon JC). its a really really nice school and lessons end really late. sighssss. anyways, ever since O's i've been motivated in many many ways. hahaha. lets hope that motivation lasts.
i'm taking PCM/E. go figure out.

schools been really tiring, i spend one hour travelling to school and 1.5hrs home. know why? going home with the crowd. going to school is kinda deserted. the bus isn't as full as you would image. maybe thats cos i take the 6.17bus. yesssss, i have to wake up at 5.45 and rush to the bust stop. sighssss. but i do love my school, the teachers are graet. they're willing to stay back to help you. however, in every school i believe there're some !#@$!%! teachers. srjc is no exception.
ANDDDd, my school prohibits me from blogging about the school. HAHAHAH. ohhh the ironyyy.
but well heck, its my freedom of speech. AND i'm in no way defaming the school. infact i'm doing the opposite. i think i deserve a medal for this.
seriously, the school is going alittle overboard with this 'no blogging about the school' thing. but if my law terms serve me well. i have every right to talk about the school. but it would be wrong to defame it or anyone in it.

i think i'm gonna join track. really nice people there. better than tennis imo. the people at tennis ain't so friendly and outgoing. maybe one or two. but thats just a few. for track, everyone's friendly. mannnn. i do like my school, just thats its effing far. thank god for concession. eversince december with that screwed up SBS thing with my ez-link card not being able to extend my concession. i finish $10 in 3school days on bus fare. -.-
i wanted to join rocmoc a.k.a rock climbing. but then its thrice a week. that would be overkill for me considering that i live quite far.
however, living far adds meaning to going to school. you'll treasure that school is a place to learn. well. something i never did with BDS.
you can debate this with me if you're pro-BDS. but i can assure you that you're wrong, unless maybe you're sec4 approaching O's.

everyday you go to BDS, from sec1 to sec4. teachers all complain that as we grow older we go to school later. you know why? WHO THE HELL ON EARTH would want to go to school early and assemble in the hall and read a book with a bitch yelling into the mic?
its like if you want us to go to school early and read a book in the hall, at least shut the fuck up. who the hell won't get annoyed at all your bitchy naggings over a slightly untucked shirt. or some stupid thing with your over dominace with everything. abraham seriously needs to get counselling. and so you know, BDS i would say. isn't exactly very study friendly. again, unless you're in sec 4 and O's approaching and then they start the night class and so forth.
unlike SRJC, its different. teachers are great. environment's great as well. i know what i have to do.

ohhhhhh. and those who are interested in my love life. yessss, i'm still attached. she's coming back for holidays in june. and i'm planning to find a way to live without for 3more damned years.
its gonna be difficult, but i think i'll be able to find a way.

and JC science is absolutely interesting. i love the in deptness of it. however it gets kinda confusing at times. but there's no fun in studies if you don't have to think, especially if it's science.
however, i do have a resentment against my school. they denied my the opportunity to take 4H2's cos i didn't get 15 or below for my l1r5. however i did get A1-B3 for both maths and science. i needa satisfy both criterias in which i only satisfied one. that damned asscrack told me that if i realllllllyyy want i could go and appeal on that appeal day. however she said no at first, and in the end told me i could go appeal.
after going in to appeal. its like she said no again without considering any factors or anyway i could try to take 4H2's. nice one right? NICE ONEEEEEE. make me stay back in school for nothing.
but well, i'm gonna score like damn well for promos and i'm gonna change school. HAHAHHA. nahhh. i like SR. oh yeah, another thing that kinda sucks. my civics tutor (CT) keeps on mentiong, you don't like the rules you can sign the withdrawal form. which is effing irritating, its like keep telling you to leave if you can't take the rules. i feel like slapping her and then say "fuck you bitch, i'll sign it" serioussssssslyyyy, she needs to learn how to communicate and express herself in a nicer, more apporachable manner. she's seriously kinda bitchy.

anyways, i'm off to bed at 1.40am. HAHAHA. ayeayeaye, you think funny ah? i tell you, i give you one tighhhht slap across your face then you know.

2008-12-30T12:31:00.006+08:00

sighssss.
i miss my darling. she's at Surabaya right now, bet she's enjoying every minute there. :(
its been like what? 3 days and i feel terribly empty and miserable now.

for my beloved darling
i can wait forever - simple plan

3 days is killing me already. :(
how about 1year, 365days, 8760hours, 525600minutes, 31536000seconds?
sighsss. its gonna be a long and sad year for me.
fret not darling cos i can wait forever, <3

Another day without you with me
Is like a blade that cuts right through me
But I can wait
I can wait forever

2008-12-30T08:37:00.002+08:00

#@%!#@$^$#%%!$#@$

its 8.37am and i never wake up this early, okay maybe i do.
well is always cos of the darn sun. my room's miraculously facing the sun rise and i do not close my curtains when i sleep. so when the sun rises until its at its full glory, it pierces my eyes and torches my skin and poof! i'm awake.

this post is soooo not a complain about the sun, cos i'm used to it. anyways i slept at 9.30pm yesterday so waking up after 11hourse should be no problem. :D
but what was i dreaming for 11 hours scared the shit outta me. and i bet everyone has the same damned dream.
now tell me which of you peeps haven't dreamed of our O's result yet? i dreamed that i collected my result and it came in this booklet and it was ^&%!@#(!* hard to find the results. the whole booklet was about some crap survey which i had no intention of looking at. i was like searching frantically for my results.
and i finally saw it. well it looked bloody weird, but the gist is that. i woke up after seeing them all. :(
my results were
english B4
chinese A1 HAHAHAH. don't forget i take CLB, but i don't know how on earth there's an A1. its supposed to be fail/pass/merit.
maths C6
A maths B4

and i can't remember the rest, but i know at the bottom of everything i saw a 17 .
oh fuckityfucks, i don't want a 17. i need like wayyyyyyyyy below that.

ohlord, bless my soul. let me see better results on the actual day. i don't wnana go to a poly neither do i want to go to a JC thats superrrrr far from my house. let me go to a niceee nearyby JC thats reputable and has a good education. *hints TJC,MJC*

2008-12-23T07:00:00.002+08:00

sighsss.
here we go again. but well, what can i say. every relationship, be it friendship or not, has its ups and downs. there isn't a relationship with no quarrels. its part of life to have quarrels. some happen to make ones closer, some happen to fulfill whats meant to be.

what can i say? its been a long time since i complained about anyone on this blog. wayyyy long time.
but since you want to use blogs as a form of communication then blogs it shall be! :D
if you say i've been a bad friend then what can i say? who am i to judge weather i am a good friend or not. but i do know that i've never mistreated my friends. i've been a great friend actually. i'll try to help when ever i can, i'll try to be where when i can. i don't make empty promises, i make ones which i can fulfill. unless its sleep which i cannot forgo. yeah, i know my sleep has caused missed trips/outings or whatever the ocassion. but its sleep. and do not discount why i slept late eh. i wasn't doing nothing, i was playing with you. you complained that you were bored so i played with you.
i'm not saying that its an excuse to oversleep and miss the outing to laminate stuff. but it not like i wanted to oversleep. i just happened and its not my fault i couldn't haer 41missed calls, the phone was under my pillow which was justtt below my face. so if one misses 41 missed calls, theres something wrong with me. and i agree. =x my sleep is wayyyyyy too deep. hahahaha.

oh and i didn't know you took a cab. i would gladly pay you pack knowing how broke you are. nope, i not flauting my money. i'm just paying back whats right. i'm sure i do know how broke you are. and i'm not like looking down or anything. it just what friends do. they treat(f.o.c) each other unconditonally. but i didn't forget the thought/effort/money that took you to come to my house to wake me up. its something worthy of praising.
but if you wanna say how bad a friend am i. then i can't say anything cos its my fault for oversleeping. but what i don't say doesn't mean what i don't know. i'm a smart guy alright. i do know loads of stuff.

and then you wanna get pissed at me for poking you when you're sleeping? how on earth would i know you were sleeping-.-
half the time you were not repling me. as said previously when i punched you at the wall. *its a game guys. i only did that to boon kiat cos he threw a damned chair at me* you started from enthu/fun face to sian/normal face. so you can say you were not angry, but your facial expressions were like totally different and when i talked to you, you either gave 1 word replies or no replies. if you want to say you're not angry then what can i say?
and again you started from enthu/fun face while playing the sparring game and after the 1v1 you went from enthu/fun face to sian/normal face again. and you went to the bed and laid there and not reply me similar to what you did previously.
so how would i know you're sleeping? you want to fault me for poking you whilst you were sleeping. again, what can i say?
as said you were sian/normal face-ing and not repling me. and i poked you to relieve tension, well to me it does relieve tension.
and when i confronted you while you were walking to the bed. i asked "you angry ah" and you replied "fuck off."
so how dare you say you weren't angry?

you wanna talk about all the great things you did for me as a friend and complain that i've been a jerk. what can i say? lol. who am i to judge what kind of friend am i. but my friends can testify for me if they want. hahaha.
yeah you get angry alot and i've never complained. -.- you wanna go "accept me for who as i am" then all i can say is i've never complained. so don't be a dooshebag and think that i've never accepted you for who you are. i know all my friends characteristics. i know who are those got problems and don't confide, those who always want to put on a brave front cos don't want their friends do worry, those who be there for you when you need them, those who just befriend you for the moment he's/she's bored. i know all of that. and i accept you for who you are. and "so be it" doesn't mean a no. infer my words and you should know.
i know blew my top of cos you shouted at me. no one shouts at me for no goddamn reason, i'm a guy and i have my ego. you wanna shout then you better have a goddamn good reason.
so reflect and go think weather have i accepted you for who you are and as a friend. i've know you for close to 2 years now and i know very well what you're like.

if you wanna think that its a sign that one should be a loner and live a life of destitude of friends in solitary then what can i say. *points to the bible and says read* i believe in it says friends.
and if friends desert you its either cos you're an asshole or cos you deserted them cos they're an asshole. i doubt the bible says one should be a loner.

buttttttttt, who am i to judge? lol. i've loads of question marks. but its like who am i to judge what you think is right or wrong. what you think is a sign or not. i'm just an ordinary guy. or a bad friend should you want it to be.

2008-11-30T01:50:00.004+08:00

9 just passed.
10 here i come!

time is what you make of it, if you know your priorities then you'll always have time for whats important. that's if what's important is actually important. well, we all have poor time management. hahaha, its always play first then homework later. :D

money is also what you make of it. choose what you wanna spend on. if you like something and you don't have enough, you definitely gotta save. thats life, there's no free meal in this world.

i'm no materialistic guy, i don't need any fancy stuff from anyone. actually i don't even need much, i don't even need christmas/birthday presents. in fact i do tell people not to get me anything and just save the money instead. of course everyone loves surprises, but there aint no need for presents.
all i know is it's the thought that counts. no need for fancy pantsy stuff, just a thought will do. :(

i say people get lazy after some time, no matter how lazy i feel or what. i still move my lazy ass. you know why? its not muscle the drives me, its you.

i'll love you no matter what.

2008-11-26T05:18:00.002+08:00

sighssss. ><
after a longg boring no-exercise holiday, i had a friendly floorball match today.
ahahha, i died during the match. i haven't been exercising for god knows how long, and today's match the opponenet were like damn fast runners with good stamina. i was like dying out there in court...

anyways on the bus there. a song popped into my head.
awww. i'm falling for my darling all over again. i don't know why, i just fall for her again ><. its not i didn't fall for her then, i'm just falling for her again. weird? no, i just realize how much she means to me.

i no wanna fight anymore, i wanna treasure every moment i have with you till you go overseas. i don't have much time anymore... yes, i'm a last minute guy. i just realized i don't have much time with you now and not previously. sighs. i've loved you from the start, it ain't no different now. no fight is gonna change anything darling. i'm confirm guarantee chop 110% waiting for ya. so now, don't break my heart which is in your hands. you're responsible for it cos i've given it to you.
i love you, and i'm yours.

Because a girl like you is impossible to find, it's impossible.

2008-11-18T13:03:00.002+08:00

i saw this song on mtv, and the lyrics caught me. i mean like you know, i haven't been listening to simple plan alot these days. but this song goes out to cancer patients.

anyways, the lyrics are heart felt by me.
nahh, i'm not going into depth. but yeah, there are many forms of cancer in life. no necessary life threatening.
but i know how it feels, i mean like Pierre (SP's vocalist).
i tried. i did try. i had tried. i was trying. he tries.
but, not everything in life goes your way. you learn, you gain, you lose. its all part of life and we gotta accept it.

2008-11-15T02:51:00.003+08:00

arghhhhh!
finally managed to change my blogskin, it took damn long... the html code had problems and i managed to solve it after a tedious amount of work.
i realized my old skin was falling apart. all the pics were like gone? i don't know what happened to them but they couldn't be displayed on my blog.

okay. prom night was great. i felt damn happy that i still looked damn good despite spending $0 on any new outfit/hair-do. i feel good about myself, i'm confident of myself. i don't need to spend money on any special outfit for prom. all i need is my formal outfit which i bought quite long ago to be used on formal ocassions. :D
and i realized that despite the dress code being "formal" it's a formal party. so whats the point of wearing a blazer and make yourself look like a businessman when you're not? c'mon people, its a party and yes its good to dress up. but one shouldn't over dress eh? but what can i say? everyone still looked good and i hoped they felt happy.
and pardon me for not adding techno/trance into the playlist for the dance. didn't expect anyone to want techno/trance on prom. and when i showed the playlist to a few people(including the host) no one told me to add techno/trance. nevertheless, i'm still sorry yeah?
amazingly, i danced with cheryl. there weren't many people dancing or guys asking any girls for their hands to a dance. c'mon people, where is the loveee? ain't no guys no more mushy? ain't no guys got balls inbetween their legs?
speaking of balls. Chen Xiang, i'm saying his name cos he's worthy of respect, displayed a great act of how a man should be. if you love a girl, be a man and declare it. like what he did, go on stage and annouced that he loved huihui. a man should show his love to his girl. cx won more respect from me since then. he's dahh man!

anyways, prom was the last party i had with Techapon Tiyapanitkun, a beloved brother, friend and gay shit friend. he's gone back to thailand now. and i miss him dearly together with Chaiwarat Arunsopha. both are now in thailand and i miss em dearly. mannn, there were great times with them. i'll never forgot these bros. c'mon back to SG and we'll party more eh!
well, todays departure with techapon at the airport was rather depressing. there was like less that half of those who turned up for chaiwart's departure. well most of their thai friends are already back so thats like quite a few missing. yogi and kelvin and in malaysia in camp with marvin and yifeng. so... thats it i guess.
hais, techapon has been a dear friend to me. i tell him loads of stuff and the what abouts in my life. he's a nice and funny guy although his english isn't very good. but he's a real gentleman if you know him well enough.
LOL, i know i sound as if he'd died or something. but a friend going overseas and studying there and no coming back is quite a big blow to me yeah. especially if he's a close friend like Techapon and Chaiwarat. i didn't realize how serious it was when Chairwart went back. i only realized it when techapon went back. abit too late eh?
but better late than never. i'm emo and sad now, i felt as if i've lost a brother who i love dearly. nah, i ain't gay or what. its a brotherly love.

i've come to realize that majority of my friends are foreigners. most of them are going back now since O's ended and that most of them are studying overseas. :(
Ray is going back to indonesia and should be studying in Australia.
Chhay is going back to cambodia, he's planning to study in a poly in Singapore.
Chen Xiang is going back to china too, he's planning to study in a poly in singaopre as well that's if he's result is good enough to permit him to study here.

to my knowledge, the rest are staying still. but these brothers of mine are dear to me. i'll miss them dearly and they've played a part in my life. i don't wanna see them just go like that. i'm like damn emo and saddened now that Techapon and Chaiwarat's gone. :(
haisss. hope they'll come back one day yeah.

2008-11-10T06:17:00.002+08:00

you know. i just realize i love my blog aka bloggie.
its been through thick and thin, up and downs with me. not like it can leave me. but yeah, its been there.
and i've come to realize secondary 4 is ending and we're all graduating darn soon.
this blog has served me well for 4+ years. its gonna continue till i die. i'll let my children know how i was when i was younger and they can learn from me. :D
heyheyhey, i know behind those screens of yours, you're going "yeahhh right".
i maybe #$!@#$ at times, but i do have principles in life which i strictly adhere to. its part of me, i know whats right and wrong. if it weren't for the rebellious side of my, i'll be a prefect or maybe a head prefect. *cough cough cough*

anyways, O's physics MCQ is starting in liek 2+ hours?
wish me luck yeah.

2008-11-04T01:05:00.005+08:00

music makes my world go round. be it upside down round or diagonally round. it still makes my world go round.
i don't like to live in this squarish world, yes the world is square to a certain extent. it isn't a sphere like you see on television. fyi, blackholes causes light to bend. therefore many balckholes exists in the universe, thus bending light and causing an optical illusion. HAHAHAH.
sylvester says earth is a square, take my word for it ya'll.

i'm going twit, forgive me yeah. its pretty fun, you can say it along with me and feel the joy. :D

me is love music for reasons that are many. delusion by music is good, it is making us don't feel the horribles of this world. music is can bring us to world that is our own, a your world. you able to have feeling which you don't dare to feel in real world. music is taking you to many memories good/bad/happy/sad. many memories lie inside me of. good times, bad times, but life goes on. life is must go on or else no purpose of having heart beating.
we is being cut many times throughtout life, but god is gave us the most powerful thing. the ability to regenerate and heal ourselves. this is not good always because skin might become ugly and have scares. therefore we is having memories, good and bad in many many ways. god chose this for us. me don't know why too, but its a gift i thinks.

alrightyyy. enought twit-ing, its hard for me to jumble up words. but its wayyy fun.

in other words, all i'm trying to say is that. music is equivalent to expression. if a music is able to express itself well it'll be a hit. trust me on this people, i just know.
although i don't watch mtv alot, those songs that are synonymously a hit with me are those that can express their music greatly.
me will go deep talk about music, those who know me well enough will know i think alot. no idea why, guess its too much redbull in my body since the chionging of SS and 3hours of sleep till now and still being in my school pants.
okay, back to the topic. expression plays significantly in every music. for instance, Avril Lavigne was famoused in her punk-rock years where sk8ter boy came out. in her voice you could hear her rebelliousness and all that. this is amplified in her music videos and so on, you can see how punk-ish she is. thus she became famous.
you try to recall all the popular bands that you like or are a hit, see how expressive they are.
HOWEVER, there are exceptions. an example would be I'm yours by Jason Mraz. they die off quickly because there isn't much expression all is has is a catchy melody. it does talk about the joys of life. but it isn't expressed.
all in all, music is about expression and not just catchy melodies. i don't know. this are just my feelings. i just started feeling deep and thought about life on the whole again. many times i do it and i ain't no like it. i'll become emo for awhile.

mann, if i'm like this for lit on friday. don't need to see. i'll definitely get my A1 for literature.
being emo unlocks many doors to feeling and seeing emotions. i don't know. maybe its just me eh?

anyways, recently i watched mtv and saw that 7 Things by Miley Cyrus was at the top in the charts. need i explain why?

7 Things - Miley Cyrus

2008-11-02T06:20:00.002+08:00

Manhattan- Eric Johnson

songs are filled with emotion. well in most cases they are. i love emotion filled songs. the best ways i my opinion are instrumental ones without words. they let in on so much without the need for a single word. of course there are times where words are used, but the melody plays the biggest role.
Manhattan is a beautiful song with emotion. there are guitarists who want to play metal all the way, in a way its not wrong. but at the end of the day, you need blues/jazz. these are filled with emotion, you play long enough and you'll know.
ahhhh. Manhattan sounds like so many things. nahhh, i'm not typing out my interpretation or how i feel about this song. all i'm going to say is 'beeeee-aaayyeee-youuu-teeee-fulll'.

2008-10-14T05:04:00.002+08:00

awwwwwww man.
i suddenly popped on my itunes and i tumbled upon all my sad songs.
songs which i used to hear when there was this 'dark' period. -.-
ohh yes, everyone has their 'dark' times. you can't fault me for listening to them accidentally.
well, it invokes emotions.

O's coming and i think its gonna be hard to even get into a damned Jc. i doubt myself now a days.
i miss my blog. awww man. ):
i haven't been treating this blog well, i'm sorry bloggie.
its been serving me well for 4years? good, bad, happy, sad memories all inside.
i realise my english in my blog is totally differnt from the way i talk in real life. its just akward, i have a split personna. :D
mehhhmehmemhemhemhmeh.

cheers to all, and god bless you all for you O's. including me as well.
i bet i'm going to hell, i haven't been to church since eons ago. :(

HAHAHAH. to those who asked, i did not record that song in the previous post. i'm not that good and i don't have the equipment to record.

2008-09-20T04:16:00.001+08:00

HELLO.
i've been very busy. guess with what? it now what you think.
i've been recording my own song.

enjoy:
Disciples_Of_Shred.mp3 - BIMM

2008-08-18T05:11:00.003+08:00

But I don't care what they say, I'm in love with you

well. someone just said my blog is dead.
:( Png Wen Yang Andrius wahahahahahaha said:
ur blog is dead
FYI, it isn't dead. i'm just too lazy to blog now a days. haha. well, i've been busy with other stuff.
its been a really long time since i've blogged but i'll update now.

firstly, i got kicked out again. and i'm living with my grandparents. i'm much happier here, i don't have to see a fat useless father who pisses me off. it's just you see other people's dad and you see yours. its just demoralizing. well, no one's perfect right? but this imperfection is too imperfect to be forgiven. i'm fed up of going back there to live. my dad's just a loser with an ego problem. he can't get along with guys. not with me nor with my grandfather. hence it can't be me only right? its with my grandfather too. hahah. anyways, i'm never moving back. if i get kicked out i'm going to live in a hostel or what. i'll find my own means. i'm a streetsmart and independent. i'll never go back no matter what you hear me?! my dad's been too much of a fucker, and my mom is like trying to "be there for me" when she clearly supported my dad. so its like what's the point of "being there" when you weren't there. its fucked up.

anyways, my O's oral is over. i think i kinda screwed it up. i was uberrrr nervous i forgot all my points for the picture and conversation. i mean even if i don't have time to prepare for the conversation. i'll think of something real quick and that'll cause a chain reaction to millions of other points. but i was too nervous and screwed everything up. despite that, i made the examiners laugh. i don't know... but i know a laugh isn't enough to compensate for all the blunders i made. well, i'll just have to buck up for my paper 1 & 2. i get nervous not like what you think. give me time to adapt and i'll shine. but i didn't get perpared to speak to 2 examiners. well, mid years was eff-ed up. miss. ung is damn unpredictable. during the conversation she started talking informally and with all the 'lahs, lors, lehs' how much practice can i get? a history teacher ain't no english teacher.

ohhh, i just got some enlightenment today. :D
yes i do get enlightened. if not how did you expect me to become as smart as i am right now? hahaha. just kidding with the ego. anyways, my grandma has schizophrenia. well its kinda sad right? nope, i think its just what she needs. no i'm not being a bastard or what. hear me out first.
my grandma is weird, she talks to the wall as if there's 10 friends around her. and my grandfather ain't showing her much love. but how much love can you show a person with schizophrenia and doesn't love you back. well, i don't know what happened but i know when i started to remember. my grandfather and grandma used to quarrel at times, not frequently. but most distinctively was that they didn't sleep together. they had different rooms.
anyways, my ahma seems to be all 'alone'. i mean physiological, she doesn't have friends unlike my grandfather. now leading to my enlightenment, i came out of my room at 4am to get a cup of water. i saw my ahma starring at the wall again, but not saying anything. but her face showed how lonely she was. ohmygawd, my heart just kinda was overwhelmed with sadness. i dunno how to explain. but amongst my family, she's been showing me the most love i can expect. well there's my grandfather also. but my grandmother's love is unconditional. i recall me being a fucker to her when i was young and couldn't understand much. but when i see her i really appreciated her having schizophrenia. imagine when you're old and alone without anyone. what would you do? stare at the window forever and watch your life decay? you'll definitely start to wonder how sad life is right now and you'll wanna end it all. but my ahma seems happy at times. she laughs at the wall. ironic i know, but it makes her happy. schizophrenia is irritating, that i admit. but what it does is kinda off-tangent. my grandma was admitted to woodbridge last time. and she was given medicine. when she ate the medicine she would become normal. that was a long long long time ago kay. but i think she realized how lonely she was. well, i don't know.
but i think my grandfather knew. he didn't force her to eat the medicine, he just let her be. tolerating her all these years. he realized she was lonely and let her enjoy her own world. i don't know... i really don't know. but it seems like she's happy. well i don't know if the still do love each other. but when i'm in the toilet shitting, i'll get bored and start to wonder and look at stuff aroud me. and once i found a pouch keeping nail cutters and i found a ring. engraved was "jenny". my ahma's name. and i was like wowwwww. i don't know, i feel sad for them at times you know? hence i'm always nicer to them unlike to my useless loser father.

prelim's coming and i gotta mug. hahahaha. actually prelims starts tomorrow and i'm soooo not prepared. well, i'll just look forward to O's. hahaha. i'm so screwed but who gives a damn right?

i'll love with you no matter what they say. i'll always love you, that i promise! i'll never leave you no matter what cos all you've made me was real happy. my life feels more complete with you around and i love you. <3
looking forward to our 6th month! :D

2008-07-08T02:33:00.002+08:00

to love is to die for the one you love.

awww. i know i haven't blog for ages. i guess i'm just too preoccupied with other stuff. i know i've been neglecting this blog and only blog where there's something bothering me. but even if there's something bothering me. i still don't blog cos i have someone better to tell it to. don't get me wrong here people.

anyways life been sucky with prelim stress coming. when the school gave out the exam schedule for our prelims i was like ohmygawd. time to study and knowing me i hate to study and i'll hardly study when i know there's so much to catch up on and revise. but i'll do like what everyone says. study now and suffer for awhile and i'll be free later on to play all i want. :D
well. but thats not true. that's just a 'reward' to make you study. even after you study for O's there'll be A's and then there comes your uni degree. and thats not all imagine when you work.
" i'll give my all for this project cos i'll get rich after that and i can stop working. " but how often that comes true? hence we'll just get stuck in this cycle of studying hard and harldy having the time to play. wellllll, that's life.

ohhhh. i forgot that i went to this concert yesterday with tech yogi and gordon. its called 'Festival For A Future' and its hosted by RGS. yes RGS people do host such cool events. there were manyyyyy bands play from 2-10. but i only wend at like 8+ to catch the professional bands cos the ealier ones were from schools. A Vacant Affair(AVA) kinda sucked, well it wasn't to my liking and they sounded rather aborginal. they were like a lousier version of bullet for my valentine. =x
Caracal were goooodddd. i kinda like their song. orginal with hits of influences from different bands. just the way it should be. :D and that was the all-so-famous electrico which were awesomeeeeeeeeee. after they finished their song the crowd went 'encore encore encore' and it was beautiful.
and i met my primary school friends whom were from my primary school. oh yeah. in case no one knows. i'm from Catholic High and i'm the only loser in BDS lahhh :(:(:( anyways they were all in Catholic High Sec and did i forget to mention both are boy schools. imagine being in a boy school for 10 years. well after the concert there was like a dance by some school or what. 3 girls called the 3P or something like that. they did some slutty dance and dressed in sluttly clothings. and my CHS friends went like crazy over them. i kinda feel bad for them. seeing boys for 10years do have side affects. and i mean reallllyyy bad side affects.

and i just watched Hancock online. i'm a poor lad and i'm broke hence all the online movies. =x
i think the show isn't just about the fighting like most people anticipate it to be or how some might only watch if for the comedy or action. but i think beneth it all is some what a tragic love story. imagine being as far as you can from the one you love in order to live. its like uber sad lahhh.

4 and counting.

2008-06-16T05:26:00.002+08:00

money come, money go.

it comes and goes as it pleases. well, money has kinda been gone for me. i'm kinda in a debt which i shall not review. it alot and when i say alot i mean it. hence i've decided to cut on movies and watch em all online. :D
its kinda sad when you realize how much money you actually owe. wait, i don't mean kinda sad. its really saddening. well money can be earnt and money earnt should be spend. no point keeping all your money and letting it all go down the drain when you die. however, me with my dreams of becoming super rich. i should be careful with my money as it's gonna be used for further investments. (: as for now, i need a part time job.

i haven't been getting alot of sleep. with the euro cup going on, its hard to get sleep as all the matches are at 12am and 2.45am. and now all are gonna be 2.45am. thank god its the holidays, but there's still loads of school work to catch up on. and school's gonna start soon. thats badddd really really bad.

anyways, life's been fine. other than a few quarrels here and there. but life's life and there are bound to be assholes lurking in every corner. or friends might become assholes.
some should realize that when they're in the wrong, they should just admit it and not push the blame around and use other wrongs to make them right. as the saying goes "2 wrongs don't make a right" besides, people should be matured. wanna quarrel, then quarrel. what's the point of insulting one another in an online forum eh? no point. some are just plain childish.

well. despite the quarrels and lack of sleep. i seem to be enjoying the relaxing life of no school. :D just hoping everyday that i get a call saying i got my DSA. each day seems to be more disappointing... well, if its meant to be it will be. if not, no point waiting.
i just wish assholes will just realise how much of an asshole they can really be sometimes...
nothing more should be said, reflection should be made.

1 more day to a beloved day. (:

2008-05-24T01:56:00.004+08:00

the taste of sweet sweet love. <3

wellll, i haven't been blogging for superr long now.
hahahaha. well my results are wayyyy under par. i totally underperformed as in TOTALLY. haiss, well i guess i just gotta start studying earlier instead of my usual last minute study. with my results i doubt i'll get into a jc, yup i scored above 20points for my l1r5. i flopped alot, i spent too much time studying ss and i totally regret it. i studied damn hard for ss and nothing much came out. i feel damn pissed about it still. anyways, pray that i get my DSA.
and i'm sweating like mad cos my aircon's down. i mean down as in i can't on it till tuesday and that totally sucks. i have 2 fans in my room right now and both are at max speed and i'm sweating. haisss. i hate waking up all sweaty, it just sucks.

and i just watch forgetting sarah marshall. i think you guys should watch it if you ever have the chance cos its a funny and nice show. well, at least to me it was. it kinda reminds me of stuff. hahahaha. it takes quite long to get over someone, but its all worth while. i found someone muchh better. <3<3<3

ohhh. and some people had to ruin my day. you know when you wanna do some stuff for someone special and you call your friends to follow you along and they don't wanna cos they don't see a point in doing so. it pisses me off when you call them and even before they say 'no', they scold you for wanting to do something nice for someone special. its like, what the fuck? you don't want to come just say 'no' and hand up, no one asked for your fucked up comments and lest your scoldings. i ain't your fucking punching bag and you wouldn't like it if i were doing the same to you.

You should paint my love
It’s the picture of a thousand sunsets
It’s the freedom of a thousand doves
Baby you should paint my love

2008-05-12T00:20:00.002+08:00

happy mother's day? nahhh. screw it

guess what?
after my dad made me feel bad for going out to play badminton instead of spending time at home and celerbrating mother's day. i decided to go and buy a cake.
and when i asked my dad if he wanted to chip in and he said "i thought should be you and your sis" then i said "kay, nevermind. you don't eat the cake ah. mother's day cake for my mom"
then he said dun be emo and those shit and offered to pay...
he just wanna eat the damned cake. and cos i didn't wanna let him it he and to open his fucking fat mouth and tell my mom about the cake.
and thus, ruining the fucking surprise. and my mom still wanted to pay me back for the cake, cos she didn't want me to spend.
its like when you buy someone a present out of goodwill and the person just pays yous back.
its like slapping you across the face with your present, like they don't appreciate.
my dad is such a fucker lah. he claims all the time i don't spend time with the family, and when i wanna surprise my mom he dad to go and ruin it. and i scolded him through sms, guess what. he even had the cheek to reply " lol :D"
fucking hell la, ruin the surprise still want so thicked skinned. now i know why i don't wanna spend time at home. i kinda dread my family, well not to the extend of hate.... just rather spend time with friend. besides, whenever i'm home my parents just cope themselves in their room while i cope myself in my room. hence if i'm home or not whats the damned difference?
hence, they have NO right to scold me for spending time out.

and i'm getting quite annoyed. its like everything i do, people are scolding me. yeah, it gets to me sooner or later. its just like what the fuck? especially my tutor, when i make careless mistakes he scolds in some not rude way but he'll get damn annoyed at me. its like, if i'm so great would i even need a tutor? and there are friends who piss me. there are people who flirt but don't realize it and don't give a damn about it. its annoying la. if you want people to respect you then gain it. don't go around insulting people's attitude saying they can never get the same job as you cos their attitude sucks. it sucks to you only cos you're a fuck up. and you don't know my attitude cos i've never shown you mine. you're just too full of yourself as you always are, you'll never succeed. learn to humble yourself before making stupid comments about other people's attitude when you're a screw up. piss off bitch.

Paint my love
You should paint my love
It's the picture of a thousand sunsets
It's the freedom of a thousand doves
Baby you should paint my love

2008-05-05T22:33:00.003+08:00

ilu<3

well, its been eons since i've last posted.
what can i say? i haven't been using the com much... i mean, yeah i do use it but its mostly for listening to music or surfing the net for short periods.

exams been killing me. as in really killing me. waiitttt killing is an understatement.
i think slaughter would be more grammatically correct.
i didn't catch and sleep last night cos i was mugging damn hard for SS. guess what?
SS came out one fking topic. and i had to stay at techapon's house until 1am to copy my notes cos i don't have the sec4 ss textbook and had to made sacrifices. guess the only thing i could sacrifice was sleep.
on top of that, i still had poa to study.
guess what? i think i'm screwed for POA and i'm not gonna get my A for ss. ): haiss, you how rejecting it is to study so hard and realise only one chapter came out and you could have spent MUCH more time on POA and also catch some sleep.
besides, i did badly for my english compo. i wrote kinda off point when i come to think of it. and know how strict mrs.ma pow is, i'm screwed.
for so many, midyear is just another exam. for me? its my ticket to DSA and there it goes... :(
i hope i still get a chance with prelims... haisss. i'm never gonna study so hard again. the last time i did it with floorball and we still lost.
welllll, floorball is a teamgame. but i'm an ass who missed 2 goals. haissssss. let the past be past and lets not dwell on them.

i'm gonna mug for my maths, physics and lit soon.
yup, contrary to what teachers think. i DO study, just not alot.
guess i gotta do alot if i wanna get a DSA.
mannnnn, i'm awfully dead beat after surviving the exam and maths tuition with no sleep at all. and i still gotta study later... arghhh.
i'm SOOO looking forward to after midyears to welcome the prelims and o' levels. WOOOHOO.
-.-

HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY KELVIN AND ZI YANG!

2008-04-20T04:40:00.002+08:00

"mehh mehh meh mehh"
i'm a doofus and i'm bored. mehhhmehhmehmehmehmehh.

nahhh, just kidding.
life's been alright to me and i've neglected this blog.
apparently i only turn to my blog to vent my frustrations from the real world.
yup, a veryy very realy world. i don't resort to drink, drugs, smoke or whatever people do to relieve stress. i just vent it all on this blog with words.
with a quote from mr.ghazali my lit teacher, who enjoys watching students get dumbfounded by his english. "the pen is mightier than the sword." mann. thats just plain, lame.
hahahaha. it rhymes.
anways, i think i'm gonna screw up my midyears. i feel no where near prepared for both maths.
well, on the brighter side... i'm still doing fine with science. gotta buck up on those mathssss.

oh yeah, there's this pissing thing with money.
i don't have a job. and i don't have enough money to support my frequent eating outside.
guess what? i gotta pay my handphone bills if they exceed. okay, thats normal... but i gotta pay for the house phone bill for overusing it. c'mon, what the hell. some sort of "parental support" eh? sorry kay, i'm sorry for having a life to live and friends whom i talk to.
this is just plain lame lah. if i suddenly start losing weight, we all know who to blame right?
blame ME for using the phone too much cos i have a life to live. (:

and i've realized i've been going out too much already. its time to cut down that time going out to play and change it to going to the library to practice maths... i'm serious, i gotta start going out less if i wanna get my DAS, which i have been aiming for so long. well, i'm no genius and i gotta study too. its just i study uber fast cos if i study long, nothing goes it and it just becomes time wasting. time to studyyy studyy studyy.
i'm gonna get my 6A1s and let the teachers know not to look down on any students no matter how "smart" or "fat" you are. *cough*kowww*cought*
i should be sleeping by now. but guess what. i just came back from a midnight show. i'm sooo not gonna watch midnight shows anymore. i'm just gonna watch them online and be a geek whom i'm apparently kinda good at.

9 more days. (:

2008-04-11T00:56:00.002+08:00

her yellow SUV is now the enemy
give me a "19", "19" "1985" :D

boooo. i'm feeling super down now.
i hardly feel down, being the me i always am. my high is way low now.
i guess i used it all during school after the 2.4 run. amazingly i got 34 i think. i have no idea how. i think this year everyone ran faster then usual. cool right? hahahaha. i think i finally stand a chance of getting a gold for NAFA. (:(:(:(:
i have no idea, i doubt that's the case. i've actually been feeling low quite often these few days.
i don't know. there could be a million possibilities.
why is life so random now a days? why ohhh whyy. :(

maybe its due to the partial neglection i've been feeling. i don't know why is it coming but i just feel that way. and my feelings aren't always right, just mostly right.
i don't know why and what should i do also. haiss. :(
i guess i should go for chuch this sunday. hahahaha. i missed it last week, i was too darn tired and my body was dying on me.
i don't knowwwwww. so many reasons. i need moneyyyyyyyyy.
yeah, the thing everyone needs. i have no idea how i spend my money so fast on food. -.-
my money seems to be disappearing into foods for no apparent reasons. its just uberrrr annoying.

ohhh. and my mom enjoys calling me at night when i'm out to ask me if i'm coming home anytime soon and scold me. -.- its fucking annoying lah. its not like i go out and start to flunk my tests or exam. i've been maintaining my results. oh yeah, she isn't aware cos she's taking two jobs right.
and she's "ohh so noble" with her 2 jobs.
its damn stupid, why take 2 jobs and start seeking pity from your child when you are perfectly alright one job? then she'll start talking about how hardworking she is and i should be a good boy and stay home and blahblahblah.
mannn, this is taking a toll on me. just don't give a damn about me and let me be. i'm old and smart enough to know how to manage my studies. all you gotta do is pay for my tuitions if i need any, and thats ENOUGH, nothing more required. she'll call and scold me and talk about how o's is coming and i should be studying.
my parents are like this. if they don't see you studying, they don't believe you study. damn irritating, especially my mom. i feel like fucking dragging her out with me and watch me study and let her test me. and that'll shut the fuck out of her for good. she doesn't trust me and i can't be bothered with her anymore. some sort of mom eh?

i don't wanna feel down no more.

2008-04-02T00:53:00.003+08:00

"complacency kills"

how did i deduce this? floorball.
during our tournament last year, we were seriously beaten by every school and never won a match. and this year we won our first 2 matches.
thinking we were great and all, we became complacent. our first match was 8-1
and our second match was 9-5 and the second match was MUCH easier than the first.
we played like shit in the second match.
and in our third match, 4-6. yyup, the all mighty BDS floorball lost.
thanks to complacency and biasness of the refrees and of course not forgetting myself.
firstly, complacency. we let in many goals cos the defenders weren't defending well and the forwards couldn't be bothered of running back to help defend. and yes, i'm guilty of that too. :(
and many dumb mistakes which we made.
and not forgetting the damned refree. the refree is the coach of assumption english the first school we trashed 8-1. hence the biasness, we scored 2 goals and they weren't counted. WTF man? and when we pushed we got fouled, they push no foul or we get a foul. when we tackle, we get a foul for slashing, when we didn't slash. -.-
lastly. ME. the ass who missed 2 shots. in our last attempts to draw the match, all the best in the game got put in. and i was a forward/striker. i got beautiful passes thanks to the rest.
i got 1on1 with the goal keeper and i smacked the ball duppperr hard into him. and it was no challenge to him. DAMN IT LAHH, if i didn't miss. we would have drawed. i'm so not gonna do that again.
and our next match is against northland, a school well renowned for floorball. coming in top 4 every nationals. the entire team right now is feeling duber emo/depressed cos of our previous match. BUT this is a good thing, we're all gonna give 101% for our next match. i know i'm gonna give 101% and score all i can and win the champs. our school ain't lousy thats for sure, we only can't get the ball moving. its like no one scores until one goal is scored.
and in the previous match we were trailing 4-0 until i scored the first goal to make it 4-1
then the others started scoring like mad. and we lost 4-6. notice that after the first goal we scored 3 more goals and they scored only 2. not forgetting the refree's 2 "disqualified" goals, it would be 5. and we had much more chances as compared to the other school.
lets not forget the played dirty, their captain elbowed me in the jaw and used his stick to hit my head and still had the cheek to scold me. mother fucker!

anyways, on a more serious topic. ever realize that the behavior of more empowered teachers compared to those less empowered. for instance a HOD and a normal teacher. the DM and a normal teacher.
i honestly and earnestly deduce with every IQ in my head that empowerment causes mental illness and one becomes very full of one's self and doesn't respect other people who's less empowered than them.
for instance, lets talk about a teacher whom i used to have respect for but lost it through out the years. non other than the moo-moo MRS.KOW
notice her during the CNA presentation. she LOVES to embarrass people. WHAT FOR? does she get enjoyment embarrassing people amongst 1.2k other students? does the student improve that way? does the student get more motivated and will strive harder to improve his/hers english? the answer is a downright NO. i can't help but think through their actions and wonder why they do it. they do it cos they enjoy it and have the authority to do so and abuse them to feel good and establish a status that they're "gods" in the school and they command respect. however, this "ego" of theirs do get broken down sometimes. for instance during today's CNA. mr.ghaz asked mrs.kow if she brought branded goods and her face turned pale and she looked like a fool who was dumbfounded. what can i say? the HOD of english can't answer a simple yes/no question and wants to direct the question to her class, wants to embarrass other people cos their english isn't as great as hers?
see how much it contradicts? i can't help it, i just get uberrrr pissed when bitches like her do such stuff. embarrass students and you see that stupid smug on their faces, seeming so pleased with themselves as if saying "yeah, that was something great i did and it's respectable". -.-
c'mon are they stupid or stupid? they're insensitive people who's too full of themselves thanks to the authority they're empowered with.
mannn, watching how dumb and stupid mrs.kow looked really made my day great. =D
she looked as if she knew how it felt to be embarrassed for a moment, but no she didn't. she had to use her authority to directthe question to her students.
another example is miss. abraham.
i recall once, when a teacher talked about her during CNA. she had to IMMEDIATELY use the mic to defend herself. the teacher didn't even say her name, yet she was so defensive. and i don't want to talk about her cos it'll end up with this post being 1000+++ words long. there's so much i can say about abraham.
if the MOE needed reviews about the teachers, their bad points. I'll gladly do it, and they're realize how much authority causes mental illnesses.

once again, let me reiterate this.
i'm NOT saying everyone with authority will have mental illness or that its a direct cause of mental illness. its a theory i'm making up with strong evidences.
not all with authority will have mental illness.
i see the government who have all the authority in singapore, yet none of them seem to have a slightest hint of mental illness. you know why? the difference is how they use it and do they abuse it like the teachers of singapore schools? they surely don't abuse it like mrs.kow or ms.abraham. open your ears and you'll know how much abraham thinks of herself. (:

i'm sorry for this uber long post, i just had too much piss in me.
floorball screwed me up. i had 3 sleepless nights thanks to floorball cos our qualification depended on that match we lost -.- now we gotta win the champs...
and the teachers have always been pissing to me. =x
but this is what happens when i don't blog for toooo long.

baby, don't worry. i'll always love you no matter what 'shit' you say. i know you don't mean it.

2008-03-29T01:33:00.002+08:00

"it's too late to apologize, its too late"

recently, thanks to the floorball guys for singing its too late to apologize on stage.
its stuck in my head lah, and during training when we have breaks. the guys will run to the back of the hall and play the piano and sing the song. HAHAHA. i get to hear it a few times, and i heard the first line in malay in the exact same tune. HAHA, it was uber cool lah.
but the song gets alittle boring after too many repeats.

anyways, life been stressful with all the upcoming test and on top of that the mid-years. and lets not forget the floorball competition.
surprisingly, floorball helps to keep the stress down. i really enjoy playing floorball. :D:D
anyways, i'm aiming to get uber good results for my mid-years and at the same time make it to the finals in floorball. then i'll have a better chance of getting my DAS.

its ONE month. <3

2008-03-23T05:39:00.003+08:00

"thou am an acquired taste"
okay, i'm not very sure how its spelt but its pronounced as this way. yes, i mean "acquired" or what i deemed to be at first as "a quiet". well as quoted from mr.ghaz(jr) that i'm an acquired taste. its hurting i know, but i'm used to it. (:
i doubt any of you will get the meaning cos neither did i.
it meant something like i'm an unpleasant taste to teachers. well, most teachers.
i guess this kinda indirectly means him as well, but he's nice to me and i appreciate that. :D
welllll, i can't say much to him about that fact. i don't deny that many teachers hate/dislike/whatever you call it me. i've grown accustomed to that already since primary school, and i still have no idea why.
but they just do it anyway and i'm kinda giving nuts about them. you can't help but watch how the teachers judge you and be prejudiced to you. its just irritating.
one example is mr.ghazali(senior). he damned hell condemned me cos i fell asleep once and i know i did blog about that. :D
and there's that mrs.kow crap, which i have NO damned idea what did i do to her. but she's a hod for a reason. i hear the word "prude" resounding in my room. HAHAHA
anyways, i'm learning to depend on my own for lit. mr.ghazali's just dumping notes on us and i doubt that can't be much more useful that actually going through thought processes ourself.

oh yeah, did i fail to mention how crappy my week was?
i don't know if its me or the world seem to have something against me. NO, i'm not mad!
i'm totally sane and in control of my life.
i recall that monday i was caught for using my handphone outside the staff room after school and had to copy crap school rules and the day got more unluckier.
OH YEAH, of course not forgetting the floorball match which was supposed to be on monday. i brought my jersy,boots and stick to school. guess what? the damned hell match was postpone to wednesday and i'm like the only one who didn't know about it. c'mon lah, what's with the damned racism? this is bullshit man.
there were loadssss of shit that happened the entire week. and i'm choosing not to type them out cos i don't wanna remember them.

on the topic about remembering.
when you read people's blog and when they keep mentioning names. for instance:
"i went out to eat with chen xiang,techapon, kelvin, yogi, rath, chhay and all those"
doesn't it seem kinda irritating? but i heard a super duper good reason for this.
why do they do it? cos when they look back at their blog when they're older in life, they'll remember "ohh, i had such times with these friends of mine." without the blog would you still be able to remember the friends you had now? i'm not saying you'll totally forget them but will you still remember them totally? and i think that doing this helps you to remember them more.
guess what? this answer came from non other than my buffalo friend techapon.

23days and couting. <3

2008-03-13T02:19:00.002+08:00

so i dub thee unforgiven

alright, i know i've been neglecting this blog.
but i just got nothing much to post. hahaha. i mean there IS stuff to post but i just don't know what to post and i'm doing some fast which i'm not supposed to play games on the com. and that kinda takes away the purpose of me using the com. but guess what? i haven't played any games for a really really long time thou. (:
anyways, ever since the ptm i got this feeling that all the teachers look down on me. ESPECIALLY mr.ghazali senior. -.- i'm like wth? so what if you studied super hard and only made it to tjc, does that mean i can't go anything better than that? you may have studied hard so what? i study hard and smart. i'll prove to you dickos that i'll make it to VJC. i have no damned idea why all the teachers keep saying VJC is 3points when that paper clearly states 5FIVE points.
the paper which shows all the points to get into jc's. i'm like wth lah. c'mon if you teachers don't wanna help me it's fine. just don't go and kick me in the balls for no reason. did i kick yours? no i didn't. and when i fell asleep in mr.ghazali's(senior) lit class and mrs.kow came in. i got a fucked up scolding lah. yeah i know i was wrong for sleeping but was i that wrong? those fucking chapter were taught before. we had DETAILED explanation about the chapters, up to chapter 12.
the only thing we didn't do was read along in class to chapter 12. doesn't that kinda defeat the purpose of a lesson? we are supposed to learn, not read along and mr.sandhu kinda realized that and stopped the bedtime stories. i have no idea which f-tard told mr.ghazali we were taught up to chapter 6 or something like that. i'm like OHMAHHGEEEE. we are past all those chapters. -.- damn it lah. i feel asleep while listening to something i've already heard and i got a scolding. and besides the day before i had super physical floorball training. well, some teacher's aren't very understanding i suppose. coming into a class a telling the teacher off and embarrassing the students.
i wonder why students get punished for no respecting a teacher who doesn't deserve respect, lest do stuff to make the students disrespect them. well, what can i say? i'm just a student. harhar.

anyways, i got this gut feeling that i'm gonna do abit worse in the upcoming mid years. but i damned hell need to get top in level for my midyear. DSA TO VICTORIA HERE I COME!!! :D:D
i wanna go vjc but sadly teachers say its kinda impossible. watch me be the FIRST. ROAR!

2008-03-03T01:50:00.003+08:00

And I breathe in Your
Breathe of life that fills my heart
You are my all consuming fire

sorry for not updating this blog for bout 2 weeks? hahaha, i've been really busy now a days with ruby, floorball and tuitions. besides, i have a church fast which includes not playing games. hence there really isn't much reason for me to go online. hahaha, hence my com is hardly on now a days.
thank god for my guitar. <3
well, there isn't much for me to blog about. i got nothing much to say, maybe i just lost the mood for blogging. the mood will definitely come back, its just a matter of time only.
anyways i was watching youtube and i found this really great singer. must watchhhh. she's awesome and i feel like giving her credit. (:

*applauses*

2008-02-18T01:09:00.002+08:00

ah long, ah ah ah ahlong, ah long long long, ah ah long.

HAHAHA. AH LONG PTD LTD is superrr duper funny. you should watch it and you'll understand it. hahahaha. sorry for the bombardment of haha's but the show is duperrr funny. although there's violence jack neo does it until its superrrr funny lah.
and not everything's so predictable like enchanted. that stupid show where EVERYTHING'S predictable.
i rate it a 9/10 okay lahh, maybe its super high cos i can understand hokkien and i like the way the speak. is superrr funnyyyy. the way they scold lin lao hia. HAHAHAHA, his tone is superr funny and he does it the same way everytime. besides, i find fann wong hot in the show.
HAHAHAH, not exactly my standards but she seems hot in the show. nooo, i'm not talking about the part where she strips and you can see her back and asscrack. that wasn't even her lah, it was a stand in. i just find her kinda hot, hawttttt. (:(:(:(:(:
go watch it! i shan't ruin it for you guys.

WHO GOT THE SONGS FROM THE SHOW SEND ME!!! <3

2008-02-12T21:35:00.000+08:00

:(

why do stars fall down from the sky
every time you walk by

well, every thing has an end. its the time to move on i guess, yeah this feeling obviously suck but its for the best and its what i gotta do i guess.
so much has happened yet nothing has happened.
haisss. i feel uber losermatic.
most people give up when they know, but why was i so damn stupid to not to?
i have no idea why was i so stupid...
OH LORDDD, WHY WAS I SO DAMNED STUPID? NEVER LET ME BE THAT STUPID EVER AGAIN.
stupidity causes loads of problems. stupidity causes hurt, hurt causes more stuff.
in the end it will end up with one feeling. emotionless. i guess thats what i'm going though now.
its time to screw back my brain.
stupid people do stupid stuff. NO, don't say love causes people to do stupid things.
what you do ultimately lies with you, its all up TO YOU. don't push the blame to love or what.
nothing can be worse to one's self than being stupid. stupidity causes so much problems lah.
my mom tells me "there's no medicine to cure stupidity"

ohh lords, don't ever let me that stupid again. :(
AMEN

2008-02-11T05:46:00.000+08:00

blankblankblankblankblank

there's so much i wanna say, but i don't know how to say it.
there's so much feelings i feel, but i dunno how to express it.
there's so many stuff which i dunno what to do about.
hais. i don't know what to do anymore you know. i'm getting those feelings.
i'm just sitting and starring and waiting. waiting for what? i have no idea too.
ohh lordd, help me yeah...

2008-02-10T01:10:00.000+08:00

cos all the stars are fading away

woah, i had a rough week.
well, i got nothing much to say actually other than i spent most of my ang pao money paying back my debts. mainly my mom, i owed her $150. HAHAHA i spent it on an acoustic guitar.
anyways since i got nothing much, this post is just here to show that sylvester is STILL alive.
nah, all you haters there wishing i was dead. TOO BAD, i'm alive and kicking!
this is gonna be onee longggg saddd journey.

2008-02-05T03:24:00.001+08:00

arghhh. i used to have so much to say everyday. and now its all empty inside.
whyyy ohhh whyyyy...
the empty will get filled soon i guess. (:(:(:

2008-02-04T02:57:00.000+08:00

GONG XI FA CHAI!
woohooo, CNY is coming i'm gonna get ang paos!!!
hahaha. i got loads of debts to pay off.
i just had super early reunion dinner with my nanny cos i think she's gonna be busy during the CNY.

mann. i dunno what to blog about. it just feels empty inside. HAHAHA. all my blog stuff are going into lyrics. awwww. =x

2008-01-30T23:13:00.001+08:00

อกหัก- Bodyslam

this song pawns all. HAHAHAHA. too bad you all can't understand it.
awwwww. but i'm serious, it really rocks. it talks alot about life and problems we face and how we should over come it. AMAZING right? and you all thought i didn't know thai.
HAHHA, actually i DON'T!!!

what you don't see you don't know.

2008-01-30T01:00:00.000+08:00

i <3 this song. although i might not understand every single word but i have thai friends who can translate this song for me. and of course there's the all so reliable internet!
i'm gonna jam this song in time to come. its called มุม - Playground , i can play the whole song already. =D=D
nahhh, i'll tell tech to not translate the song for you all.
** TECHAPON IF YOU'RE READING THIS, YOU BETTER NOT TRANSLATE THE SONG FOR ANYONE.

2008-01-29T01:04:00.000+08:00

And I know my God made a way for me
i fear nothing. cos i know my god made a way for me!!! <3

alright. guess what i did on saturday? i honestly forgot.
c'mon syllll, you can do it! i know i went to ECP with chhay and kelvin. HAHHAHA it was a super gay moment but i loved every second of it. (:
OH YAEH. i went to study in the afternoon then at night we went to ECP wanting to cycle but the damned shops all were already closed at 10pm. -.- hence we decided to sit by the beach. yeahhh, gay right? THREE guys on the beach together. well, it was kelvin's idea and all of use agreed. HAHAHA. oh yaeh. i got burnt. its a stupid story but i'm a stupid guy hence i got burnt on my underarm. i burnt the sparkler box so that i could light the sparklers and after the box extinguished for like 15seconds i forgot about it and held it in my arm and crossed my arm, forgetting that the box was still in my hand. it touched my underarm and i didn't feel it till 3seconds later and that was how i got burnt. i knowww, uber slow reaction right? i'll post the gayest pics and let you all see our gay moments. GUYS DO CAMWHORE TOO!

and i missed church on sunday thanks to my mom. my mom is effing pissing me off. she doesn't realise how much importance i place in church and she thinks its okay to skip it. she's like effing pissing me off lah. WTH, so what if i oversleep sometimes? i do go to church on saturdays too. does she know that? NOOOOOoooo. well, whatever. she doesn't realise how much it matters to me. she doesn't realise much about me. HAHAHA maybe cos i don't let my family know too much about me. =x i'm a weird guy. i guess the only know how much i put into this blog. yeah, its freaky to know your parents know your blog. but after awhile i realised, WHATS THERE TO HIDE? you wanna know my lifestory, BE MY GUEST! =D

alright. gay pics up

2008-01-26T04:08:00.000+08:00

yeah. i was watching heartbreak kid on the internet just now and i think this is the ending song.
i like it! HAHAHAHA. i know that this song is veryyyy old. i heard it before.
and no, i'm not trying to say anything. i'm only saying that this is just a nice song.
I wanna learn the guitar solo in the song. =D

2008-01-26T02:07:00.000+08:00

WAH-SAHHH-BEHHH. WASABI

hahahah. sorry, i just felt like saying that all a sudden. i know i'm weird. (:
alrighty. i was late for school again.
well, i actually wanted to skip school cos i knew if i was late i was gonna get detention in which i really did get. cos i realised it was better to be late then never. well, i'm aiming for VJC.
beat that. i'm gonna study and be a nerd.
6points here i come! HAHHAHA. i'm gonna try hardd.
anways, school was as boring as it always is. and serving detention can be quite fun if you have friends doing it with you. i mean its not like i LIKE DETENTION, i'm just saying it can be fun if your friends are there with you. =D

andddd. i think my band's making progress.
with our new singer, TECHAPON.
we're like jamming every sat now. woohooo. i feel so proud of myself. i'm so gonna produce one album in my entire lifetime. its a MUST. i must produce at least ONE album. and i still have no name for my band. c'mon someone write me some lyrics and we can be like 'music and lyrics'. HAHAHA. and we'll produce a hit single, that's provided i can actually write something nice. :/
hmmmm, we're learning i don't love you now. and we didn't jam the song finish cos someone forgot to bring his score. HAHHAAHA. next song is gonna be the pretender by the foo fighters and the song after shall be a song dedicated to tech. it's a THAI SONG. i'm gonna master the song for him. =DD
anything after that i have no idea already... c'mon someone give me suggestions. shoot em at me.

Just because I'm nerdy
And my friends are thirty
It doesn't mean that I swing that way

2008-01-25T00:35:00.000+08:00

no line is ever straight for me.

no line is straight for me. life isn't fair and i can't draw for nuts.
hais.
well, life wasn't meant to be fair thats why its life.

okay. i had beep test and i pushed myself alot today. well i realised i can push myself alot if i really wanna. =D
i did 8-9, i was like kinda tired at 7-8 or something like that but i just bit my teeth and pushed myself. at the expense of what? getting my butt and legs cramped and i felt like vomiting.
hahaha. at least i'm training my stamina.
okay. i totally know my post sucks. but my blog is gonna die soon.
there's nothing happy to post about. it's either too good to be true, sad or stagnant.

know my drawing? the one i did at the competition at suntec. i got into the finals.
yeah when the person called me i was like shocked. literally. i went HUH super loud cos i didn't even expect it. i actually did super lousy cos i didn't wanna win. i didn't wanna go and malu myself one more time. but when they told me i got into the finals i was like super shocked and kinda happy. its like WOW. i actually made it into the finals.
guess what. i got a call today saying i didn't make it. well, the person who called me is the the co-sponser who is like the owner of music clef(where i learn my guitar).
yeahhh. joesphine that one who kept on insulting me that day. she said some superrr good excuse.
cos there were children helping me that day and like the judges called her to ask if the children did help me and blahblahblah. then say if i really cannot draw then give the position to someone else. and she called and ask me if it was okay to give it to someone else.
i can't say no right? thats effing thick skinned and i thought about it, i'm not gonna malu myself one more time and i'm not gonna steal this opportunity from someone else who is more deserving of it. i know definitely i can't draw. many people lie to me and thats BAD.
yeah, you should lie to a guy who knows he can't draw when he was primaryONE. i know i can't draw for about a decade already, so no use lying. BUT it just shows how nice you people are. (:
hahaha.

i'm not gonna blog unless i got something happy to blog about. we only live once and we shouldn't keep remembering the sad stuff although its human to remember more sad stuff than happy. i'm a different human. my blog will keep happy memories and i'll be a happy guy. BEAT THAT YA ALL!
nahhh. i'm just kidding.

ohhhh. i saw the O's today. mannn i felt awfully sad for them lah. seeing so many people cry makes me scared too. i initially aimed for 8 points cos i thought VJC was like 6 and TJC was 10points. guess what? VJC is FIVE and TJC is SIX. beat that lah... ohhmahgosh. i'm aiming for 6 already.
i can imagine it. NOT.

TOP IN LEVEL
SYLVESTER YEO 6A1's

HAHHA. i'm just wishing thou. i'm gonna work really hard. watch me.

2008-01-21T03:31:00.003+08:00

I MADE A BLOG FOR TECHAPON.
wasted 3 hours of my life. lets all see him and congratulate him for wasting sylvester's time.
thanks techapon. (:

link here

okay, back to my day.
i overslept today and totally missed church. :(
i'm rotting at home the whole day on my com and doing nothing else other than my com.
hahahahaha. i have nothing better to do other than my com and guitar.
and i still feel uber sad about the drawing incident. haiss. :(

2008-01-20T03:58:00.000+08:00

=(

haisss. i know i can't draw or what.
i realized it since i was super super young. HAHAHA. i had a good brain when i was young and i realized what was nice and what wasn't and i knew drawing was a NO for me. hence i don't draw, okayyy maybe i do. but its once in a blue moon. i can't even draw a straight line or write straight without lines on my paper. yeah, i'm artistically declined. i mean SERIOUSLY declined. you can say i'm a retard at drawing and i won't mind at all.
yeah. now you all know how bad i suck in art. its a lost cause and i mean seriously lost cause one.
and guess what lah.
I PARTICIPATED IN A DRAWING COMPETITION. today
nope. i actually didn't wanna join but josephine, who's from music clef kept on pestering me join.
you won't wanna know the reason. its just i'm there to add number so they can start the competition and other stuff. i already say i can't draw and i didn't wanna join. but i did in the end to help out.
i was at suntec today drawing/colouring. i was like starring at the paper for like 45mins with nothing in mind. i mean no inspiration. yeah. so me being artistically declined joined a competition to help out. and josephine was like one of the co-sponsors cos she runs music clef and the winner of the competition gets a guitar sponsored by music clef. oh yeah, she was there to cheer her students on. supposedly there were 3. and i was like there to give the others more chances of winning. i'm like okayyyy, since i'm free. whatever.
and i'm being kind already by taking 2hours out of my day to help you. and when she was there she kept on insulting me and criticizing my drawing or what and i was like " i alraedy told you i can't draw right???" and she went "don't embarrass me lah, you're from my school all those" and woohooo. her daughter was just great saying "very ugly leh" c'mon lah i can't even draw.
okay, i don't blame her daugher. she's a young cute sweet thing. i like her. she's cute. and her daughter is like primary 1. awesomely cute.
and joesphine was like insulting me along the way lah. pissing me off. i'm like helping out and i'm embarrassing myself sitting there letting people see my drawing and the person who drew that piece of shit. and you can't pity me and still gotta go insult me. I'M HELPING YOU FOR GOODNESS SAKE! and i get insulted. haisss. hao xin mei hao bao. i'm never helping her again.
i was like super sad for the whole day lah.
my new resolution is NEVER DRAW.
ohhh, and i made a resolution recently on never to fight again. i mean unless its for protecting/ saving someone else or myself. if not i'm not gonna get into a fight anymore. its just wrong.
nope, i'm not a coward. i just realized its harder to walk out of a fight then to win one.

anyways, i'm like jamming every saturday now. =D it cheers me up. i still love my LP alot. she's like my wife lah. i take GOOOOOD care of her. oh, fyi my wife is my guitar. don't u sickos get the wrong idea or what. i have a great commited singer. i dun give a damn if you can sing like who ever if you got a screwd up attitude. it just pisses me off. i rather have a tone deaf guy whos commited.
welllllllll. there's those rough days i guess. it happens to everyone.

2008-01-16T00:29:00.000+08:00

ohhhhh.
why do i keep falling asleep in class?
ohhh why oh why. i have no idea too. but i know falling asleep in class is veryyy comfortable. i mean its like different from falling asleep on the bed. =x
and i'm falling asleep at the expense of the lessons... well, i'll find a way to catch up. i'll do my sylvester thing to catch up and i'll catch up. :D
i'm falling behind in A-maths. the stupid chapter 13 i haven't learn everything and we're now at chapter 14. time for TUITION.
ohhh. i'm officially BROKE now. i spent my last dollar on bao today for recess.
i ate a frigging char siew bao at 60cents and i'm left with 10cents. woohooo.
AND I MADE IT THROUGH FLOORBALL ON ONE DAMN SMALL BAO.
beat that! of course when i went home i ate like i just had my first meal in a month. =D
hahahaha. i was that hungry okayyy.

THESE ARE CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY, CRAZY NIGHTS!
old skool, shredding solos, high pitched voices. \m/